adBlockCheck

Entertainment

How Movies Receive Their Ratings

Many Americans use the MPAA’s formalized rating system as a guide for which films to see. The Onion provides a step-by-step view into how these ratings are chosen:

‘Winnie-The-Pooh’ Turns 90

Winnie-The-Pooh, the A.A. Milne series featuring a stuffed bear and his toy animal friends, debuted 90 years ago this week. Here are some milestones from the franchise’s nearly century-long run:

50 Years Of ‘Star Trek’

Star Trek, the science-fiction show about the crew of the starship Enterprise, premiered 50 years ago today on NBC, spawning a cult following and decades of spin-offs. Here are some milestones from the franchise’s 50-year history

How Big-Budget Movies Flop

Despite the recent box-office failures of Exodus, Ben-Hur, and Gods Of Egypt, studios continue to fund big-budget movies they hope will achieve blockbuster success. The Onion provides a step-by-step breakdown of how one of these movies becomes a flop:

Your Horoscopes — Week Of August 30, 2016

ARIES: Sometimes in life, you just need to stop whatever it is you’re doing and take a step back. Actually, maybe it’s two steps back. Yeah, that’s good. Keep going. The stars will let you know when you’re far enough.

‘Rugrats’ Turns 25

This August marks the 25th anniversary of the premiere of Rugrats, the beloved Nickelodeon cartoon about intrepid baby Tommy Pickles and his group of toddler friends. Here are some milestones from the show’s nine-season run

Your Horoscopes — Week Of August 9, 2016

ARIES: Your life’s story will soon play out in front of movie theater audiences across the country, though it’ll only last about 30 seconds and advertise free soft drink refills in the main lobby.

Director Has Clear Vision Of How Studio Will Destroy Movie

LOS ANGELES—Saying he can already picture exactly what the finished cut will look like on the big screen, Hollywood film director Paul Stanton told reporters Wednesday he has a clear vision of how studio executives will totally destroy his upcoming movie.

Your Horoscopes — Week Of June 14, 2016

ARIES: Once the laughter dies down, the party favors are put away, and the monkeys led back inside their cages, you’ll finally be given a chance to explain your side of the story.

Lost Jack London Manuscript, ‘The Doggy,’ Found

RYE, NY—Workers inventorying the estate of a recently deceased Westchester County art dealer earlier this month reportedly stumbled upon a draft of a previously unknown Jack London novel titled The Doggy, and the work is already being hailed by many within the literary world as a masterpiece.

Guide To The Characters Of ‘The Force Awakens’

The highly anticipated seventh episode in the ‘Star Wars’ series, ‘The Force Awakens,’ which will be released December 18, will feature several returning characters as well as a host of new ones. Here is a guide to the characters of ‘Star Wars: The Force Awakens.’

Robert De Niro Stunned To Learn Of Man Who Can Quote ‘Goodfellas’

‘Bring Him To Me,’ Actor Demands

NEW YORK—Immediately halting production on his latest project after hearing of the incredible talent, legendary actor Robert De Niro was reportedly stunned to learn Wednesday that Bayonne, NJ resident Eric Sullivan, 33, can quote the critically acclaimed 1990 Martin Scorsese film Goodfellas at length.

Timeline Of The James Bond Series

This week marks the release of the 24th film in the James Bond franchise, Spectre, featuring Daniel Craig in his fourth appearance as the British secret agent. Here are some notable moments from the film series’s 53-year history
End Of Section
  • More News

Entertainment

Your Horoscopes - Week Of February 21, 2012

  • Aries

    Aries | March 21 to April 19

    Your belief that nothing can stop you will be tested this week by depression, procrastination, concrete barriers, dysentery, armed gunmen, and the unanimous passage of several laws targeted specifically at stopping you.
  • Taurus

    Taurus | April 20 to May 20

    After years of loneliness, you'll find the only other person on Earth who cares about cuttlefish as much as you do, inspiring a mutual hatred that will last the rest of your short and violent lives.
  • Gemini

    Gemini | May 21 to June 20

    You firmly believe that prayer is a beneficial practice for ordering your thoughts and sorting out your feelings, but only if enough people see you doing it.
  • Cancer

    Cancer | June 21 to July 22

    You will come closer to your own elemental nature this week when a sudden lance of white-hot plasma reduces you to your component atoms.
  • Leo

    Leo | July 23 to Aug. 22

    You were never certain whether or not life is better with a little bit of mystery until you figured out exactly what that smell is.
  • Virgo

    Virgo | Aug. 23 to Sept. 22

    You had always believed that there were two kinds of people in this world, but that was before you discovered the existence of the Germans.
  • Libra

    Libra | Sept. 23 to Oct. 22

    Your joy at discovering that there is indeed meaning and purpose to life is short-lived when it turns out to involve a bunch of difficult stuff that isn't a lot of fun.
  • Scorpio

    Scorpio | Oct. 23 to Nov. 21

    You'll revolutionize the dating industry when you combine advanced physics, chemistry and genetics to ensure that you are in fact the last man on Earth.
  • Sagittarius

    Sagittarius | Nov. 22 to Dec. 21

    In outer space there is in fact no such thing as "up" or "down," so it's not clear if you'll be falling forever or rising forever through the universe.
  • Capricorn

    Capricorn | Dec. 22 to Jan. 19

    It is beneficial for a compassionate and intelligent person to stop now and again to consider the magnificence of human endeavor, so it is fortunate indeed that Mark Trail is still in print.
  • Aquarius

    Aquarius | Jan. 20 to Feb. 18

    You're a firm believer that travel broadens the mind, which is one reason why you haven't been outside of Missouri in more than 15 years.
  • Pisces

    Pisces | Feb. 19 to March 20

    It's rare that people can live a happy, healthy life without friends, so the crushing depression you're feeling is perfectly normal.

Entertainment Video

Sign up For The Onion's Newsletter

Give your spam filter something to do.

X Close