Your Horoscopes - Week Of February 8, 2011

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Vol 47 Issue 06

FactZone's Five Most Popular Stories

On this, the week of FactZone's fifth birthday, we look back on some of our most popular stories to date: 5. Baby Goat Befriends Roomba: This cute story from 2007 about an Iowa family's pet goat who took to following around a Roomba robotic vacuum...

FactZone's Five Most Touching Moments

On FactZone's fifth anniversary, we look back at a few of the shows most touching moments: 5. Miracle On The Hudson: While reporting on the incredible landing of a U.S. Airways passenger plane on the Hudson river in January 2009, r...

Portrait Of A Hero

Yesterday America was introduced to Trevor Wilson, the brave young man from Granton, Kansas who heroically gunned down a potential school shooter before the shooter could even obtain a gun.

Aaron Rodgers To Spend Offseason Being Compared To Things

GREEN BAY, WI—NFL experts said Friday that Aaron Rodgers, who since winning the Super Bowl has been likened to his predecessor Brett Favre and 49ers great Steve Young, will spend the rest of the offseason being compared to everything from other foot...
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Just Like Everything Else!: Fox 8 p.m. EDT/7 p.m. ABC Pete's wife is still on him about building that darn shed, these kids are going to be the death of Sheila and Dave, and the hot next-door neighbor is up in EVERYBODY'S business! Sunday nights on ABC couldn't be any more familiar!

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Fun

  • Night Out Consecrated With Opening Exchange Of High-Fives

    CHARLOTTE, NC—Kicking off the evening with their customary expression of excitement and camaraderie, a group of friends reportedly consecrated their night out on the town Friday with a ceremonial opening exchange of high-fives.

Your Horoscopes - Week Of February 8, 2011

  • Aries

    Aries

    Your plan to put on a spectacular song-and-dance show to raise desperately needed cash will somehow fail to save your foundering musical.
  • Taurus

    Taurus

    You will realize too late that an absolute monarch is still in thrall to the needs of his subjects when your hamsters start dying of starvation.
  • Gemini

    Gemini

    Although you feel as if you are all alone in a cold, brutal, and uncaring world, there are in fact 7 billion other people there.
  • Cancer

    Cancer

    Earth and Water magics are very strong in your sign this week, indicating that this is a good time to do mud-related activities.
  • Leo

    Leo

    You've always believed that your soul is a lonely seeker of Truth, which does not explain why it's usually found in a crowded line waiting for Cinnabon.
  • Virgo

    Virgo

    It's actually not true that doctors would simply allow you to die in order to harvest your organs. You'll be dead, all right.
  • Libra

    Libra

    Everyone will think you're just making a hilarious reference, undermining your efforts to warn everyone that the alien manifesto is, in fact, actually a cookbook.
  • Scorpio

    Scorpio

    An angel will appear to you in glory and foretell that you shall have happiness, peace, and the riches of the world, which would be better if he didn't keep getting your name wrong.
  • Sagittarius

    Sagittarius

    The powers that be are in fact watching you at all hours and tracking your every move, but only because they're hoping you'll slip on the ice and drop your groceries again.
  • Capricorn

    Capricorn

    You'll soon have the opportunity to reflect on all the crucial moments of your youth when a chunk of flying rebar erases all your memories after age 9.
  • Aquarius

    Aquarius

    You'll receive a strange e-mail from the Nigerian government describing in painstaking detail the management of its petroleum-distribution infrastructure.
  • Pisces

    Pisces

    After years of work, you will be asked to submit your paper "There Is Nothing Like A Good Plate Of Bacon And Eggs" to the philosophy department at the Sorbonne.
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