Your Horoscopes - Week Of January 10, 2012

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Vol 48 Issue 02

CVS Roadshow

PBS 9 p.m. EST/8 p.m. CST Store manager Robyn Fisher provides an up-close-and-personal tour of the Destin, FL store, which stacks its Garnier Fructis in a different endcap than the Miramar Beach location.

Inadvertent Ice Road Truckers

History 9 p.m. EST/8 p.m. CST After taking a wrong turn out of Calgary, trucker Dale Bronson eventually realizes he's hauled his load of Lady Jordache sporting apparel much too far north.
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TV Listings
Just Like Everything Else!: Fox 8 p.m. EDT/7 p.m. ABC Pete's wife is still on him about building that darn shed, these kids are going to be the death of Sheila and Dave, and the hot next-door neighbor is up in EVERYBODY'S business! Sunday nights on ABC couldn't be any more familiar!

Special Coverage

Comfort

  • Child Visiting Ellis Island Sees Where Grandparents Once Toured

    ELLIS ISLAND, NY—Pausing to imagine the throngs of people who must have arrived with them that day back in 1994, 12-year-old Max Bertrand reportedly spent his visit to Ellis Island this afternoon walking around the same immigrant station his grandparents once toured.

Late Night

Your Horoscopes - Week Of January 10, 2012

  • Aries

    Aries

    You're not sure if your new mousetrap is better, but due to its horrifying use of liquefying blades, the world will beat a path to your door out of sheer morbid curiosity.
  • Taurus

    Taurus

    You'll need to find new solutions to the same old problems this week, mostly because you're really building up quite a tolerance to alcohol.
  • Gemini

    Gemini

    Take comfort in the fact that we are all part of a larger plan, although really it's more of an eons-spanning game of universal domination played by uncaring immortals than a "plan."
  • Cancer

    Cancer

    For the next week, laws will not apply to you, which is a real pain, as you've become pretty accustomed to Newton's first and third.
  • Leo

    Leo

    This is a terrible week to make decisions about your love life, although to be perfectly honest, the problem's less with the week and more with you.
  • Virgo

    Virgo

    It's time to make people take you more seriously. If they don't respond to your demands within a half-hour of reading this, start killing the hostages.
  • Libra

    Libra

    Walk confidently in the direction of your life's dreams, but be warned that it's really quite a long walk to Sea World.
  • Scorpio

    Scorpio

    Although no one is currently keeping statistics on falcon attacks, your next few weeks will motivate several people to begin considering the necessity.
  • Sagittarius

    Sagittarius

    People say you're too easygoing, unmotivated, and accepting of your own flaws, but you'll learn to live with that.
  • Capricorn

    Capricorn

    The great thing about dogs is they still feel the same way about you when your back is turned. In related news, you'll never see the Doberman attack coming.
  • Aquarius

    Aquarius

    While it's true there are only two kinds of people in the world, the stars believe it would be unkind to tell you just how much better than you the other one is.
  • Pisces

    Pisces

    It turns out that pianos hardly ever suddenly fall out of twelfth story windows onto people, although you'll have a hard time feeling special about it.
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