Your Horoscopes - Week Of January 10, 2012

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‘Winnie-The-Pooh’ Turns 90

Winnie-The-Pooh, the A.A. Milne series featuring a stuffed bear and his toy animal friends, debuted 90 years ago this week. Here are some milestones from the franchise’s nearly century-long run:

50 Years Of ‘Star Trek’

Star Trek, the science-fiction show about the crew of the starship Enterprise, premiered 50 years ago today on NBC, spawning a cult following and decades of spin-offs. Here are some milestones from the franchise’s 50-year history

How Big-Budget Movies Flop

Despite the recent box-office failures of Exodus, Ben-Hur, and Gods Of Egypt, studios continue to fund big-budget movies they hope will achieve blockbuster success. The Onion provides a step-by-step breakdown of how one of these movies becomes a flop:

Your Horoscopes — Week Of August 30, 2016

ARIES: Sometimes in life, you just need to stop whatever it is you’re doing and take a step back. Actually, maybe it’s two steps back. Yeah, that’s good. Keep going. The stars will let you know when you’re far enough.

‘Rugrats’ Turns 25

This August marks the 25th anniversary of the premiere of Rugrats, the beloved Nickelodeon cartoon about intrepid baby Tommy Pickles and his group of toddler friends. Here are some milestones from the show’s nine-season run

Your Horoscopes — Week Of August 9, 2016

ARIES: Your life’s story will soon play out in front of movie theater audiences across the country, though it’ll only last about 30 seconds and advertise free soft drink refills in the main lobby.

Director Has Clear Vision Of How Studio Will Destroy Movie

LOS ANGELES—Saying he can already picture exactly what the finished cut will look like on the big screen, Hollywood film director Paul Stanton told reporters Wednesday he has a clear vision of how studio executives will totally destroy his upcoming movie.
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Your Horoscopes - Week Of January 10, 2012

  • Aries

    Aries | March 21 to April 19

    You're not sure if your new mousetrap is better, but due to its horrifying use of liquefying blades, the world will beat a path to your door out of sheer morbid curiosity.
  • Taurus

    Taurus | April 20 to May 20

    You'll need to find new solutions to the same old problems this week, mostly because you're really building up quite a tolerance to alcohol.
  • Gemini

    Gemini | May 21 to June 20

    Take comfort in the fact that we are all part of a larger plan, although really it's more of an eons-spanning game of universal domination played by uncaring immortals than a "plan."
  • Cancer

    Cancer | June 21 to July 22

    For the next week, laws will not apply to you, which is a real pain, as you've become pretty accustomed to Newton's first and third.
  • Leo

    Leo | July 23 to Aug. 22

    This is a terrible week to make decisions about your love life, although to be perfectly honest, the problem's less with the week and more with you.
  • Virgo

    Virgo | Aug. 23 to Sept. 22

    It's time to make people take you more seriously. If they don't respond to your demands within a half-hour of reading this, start killing the hostages.
  • Libra

    Libra | Sept. 23 to Oct. 22

    Walk confidently in the direction of your life's dreams, but be warned that it's really quite a long walk to Sea World.
  • Scorpio

    Scorpio | Oct. 23 to Nov. 21

    Although no one is currently keeping statistics on falcon attacks, your next few weeks will motivate several people to begin considering the necessity.
  • Sagittarius

    Sagittarius | Nov. 22 to Dec. 21

    People say you're too easygoing, unmotivated, and accepting of your own flaws, but you'll learn to live with that.
  • Capricorn

    Capricorn | Dec. 22 to Jan. 19

    The great thing about dogs is they still feel the same way about you when your back is turned. In related news, you'll never see the Doberman attack coming.
  • Aquarius

    Aquarius | Jan. 20 to Feb. 18

    While it's true there are only two kinds of people in the world, the stars believe it would be unkind to tell you just how much better than you the other one is.
  • Pisces

    Pisces | Feb. 19 to March 20

    It turns out that pianos hardly ever suddenly fall out of twelfth story windows onto people, although you'll have a hard time feeling special about it.


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