Your Horoscopes - Week Of January 3, 2012

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‘Winnie-The-Pooh’ Turns 90

Winnie-The-Pooh, the A.A. Milne series featuring a stuffed bear and his toy animal friends, debuted 90 years ago this week. Here are some milestones from the franchise’s nearly century-long run:

50 Years Of ‘Star Trek’

Star Trek, the science-fiction show about the crew of the starship Enterprise, premiered 50 years ago today on NBC, spawning a cult following and decades of spin-offs. Here are some milestones from the franchise’s 50-year history

How Big-Budget Movies Flop

Despite the recent box-office failures of Exodus, Ben-Hur, and Gods Of Egypt, studios continue to fund big-budget movies they hope will achieve blockbuster success. The Onion provides a step-by-step breakdown of how one of these movies becomes a flop:

Your Horoscopes — Week Of August 30, 2016

ARIES: Sometimes in life, you just need to stop whatever it is you’re doing and take a step back. Actually, maybe it’s two steps back. Yeah, that’s good. Keep going. The stars will let you know when you’re far enough.

‘Rugrats’ Turns 25

This August marks the 25th anniversary of the premiere of Rugrats, the beloved Nickelodeon cartoon about intrepid baby Tommy Pickles and his group of toddler friends. Here are some milestones from the show’s nine-season run

Your Horoscopes — Week Of August 9, 2016

ARIES: Your life’s story will soon play out in front of movie theater audiences across the country, though it’ll only last about 30 seconds and advertise free soft drink refills in the main lobby.

Director Has Clear Vision Of How Studio Will Destroy Movie

LOS ANGELES—Saying he can already picture exactly what the finished cut will look like on the big screen, Hollywood film director Paul Stanton told reporters Wednesday he has a clear vision of how studio executives will totally destroy his upcoming movie.
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Your Horoscopes - Week Of January 3, 2012

  • Aries

    Aries | March 21 to April 19

    To improve your spiritual health, avoid the myriad temptations of the flesh. This is most easily accomplished by repeating the word "flesh" over and over until it creeps you out.
  • Taurus

    Taurus | April 20 to May 20

    Most accidents occur at home, so stay safe this week by living on the streets of a distant city.
  • Gemini

    Gemini | May 21 to June 20

    You've always been afraid no one will notice when you die, but take comfort: The swarm of killer bees will be very much aware of what's happening.
  • Cancer

    Cancer | June 21 to July 22

    There is little that can truly mend a broken heart besides time. Sadly, you only have about three weeks to learn to love and be loved again.
  • Leo

    Leo | July 23 to Aug. 22

    You'll learn a lot about yourself this week, but despite that, you'll still struggle to figure out exactly what you're supposed to eat.
  • Virgo

    Virgo | Aug. 23 to Sept. 22

    The stars see many things ahead for you, which is exactly the kind of vague and value-neutral statement they've spent the long eons of their existence perfecting.
  • Libra

    Libra | Sept. 23 to Oct. 22

    Saturn and Mars rising in your sign foretell a deadly combination of conflict and the search for knowledge. To avoid sudden murder, try not to read any predictions about your future this week.
  • Scorpio

    Scorpio | Oct. 23 to Nov. 21

    The circumstances of your life will combine in such a way as to grant you possession of a great many lemons. However, all the advice you receive regarding their purpose will be useless and trite.
  • Sagittarius

    Sagittarius | Nov. 22 to Dec. 21

    The resources and knowledge of human civilization will once again be marshaled and brought to bear for the purpose of telling you what everyone's cat is doing.
  • Capricorn

    Capricorn | Dec. 22 to Jan. 19

    One of the most magical sounds in the world is the laughter of children on Christmas morning, but it's kind of jarring when directed at you as the flames consume your body.
  • Aquarius

    Aquarius | Jan. 20 to Feb. 18

    The stars would love to tell you what's ahead for you this week, but they've decided they'd rather wait and see the look on your face when it all happens.
  • Pisces

    Pisces | Feb. 19 to March 20

    Nothing will be able to prepare you for the sense of dread and fear you'll experience when you suddenly realize your life has meaning and purpose again.


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