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How Movies Receive Their Ratings

Many Americans use the MPAA’s formalized rating system as a guide for which films to see. The Onion provides a step-by-step view into how these ratings are chosen:

‘Winnie-The-Pooh’ Turns 90

Winnie-The-Pooh, the A.A. Milne series featuring a stuffed bear and his toy animal friends, debuted 90 years ago this week. Here are some milestones from the franchise’s nearly century-long run:

50 Years Of ‘Star Trek’

Star Trek, the science-fiction show about the crew of the starship Enterprise, premiered 50 years ago today on NBC, spawning a cult following and decades of spin-offs. Here are some milestones from the franchise’s 50-year history

How Big-Budget Movies Flop

Despite the recent box-office failures of Exodus, Ben-Hur, and Gods Of Egypt, studios continue to fund big-budget movies they hope will achieve blockbuster success. The Onion provides a step-by-step breakdown of how one of these movies becomes a flop:

Your Horoscopes — Week Of August 30, 2016

ARIES: Sometimes in life, you just need to stop whatever it is you’re doing and take a step back. Actually, maybe it’s two steps back. Yeah, that’s good. Keep going. The stars will let you know when you’re far enough.

‘Rugrats’ Turns 25

This August marks the 25th anniversary of the premiere of Rugrats, the beloved Nickelodeon cartoon about intrepid baby Tommy Pickles and his group of toddler friends. Here are some milestones from the show’s nine-season run

Your Horoscopes — Week Of August 9, 2016

ARIES: Your life’s story will soon play out in front of movie theater audiences across the country, though it’ll only last about 30 seconds and advertise free soft drink refills in the main lobby.

Director Has Clear Vision Of How Studio Will Destroy Movie

LOS ANGELES—Saying he can already picture exactly what the finished cut will look like on the big screen, Hollywood film director Paul Stanton told reporters Wednesday he has a clear vision of how studio executives will totally destroy his upcoming movie.

Your Horoscopes — Week Of June 14, 2016

ARIES: Once the laughter dies down, the party favors are put away, and the monkeys led back inside their cages, you’ll finally be given a chance to explain your side of the story.

Lost Jack London Manuscript, ‘The Doggy,’ Found

RYE, NY—Workers inventorying the estate of a recently deceased Westchester County art dealer earlier this month reportedly stumbled upon a draft of a previously unknown Jack London novel titled The Doggy, and the work is already being hailed by many within the literary world as a masterpiece.

Guide To The Characters Of ‘The Force Awakens’

The highly anticipated seventh episode in the ‘Star Wars’ series, ‘The Force Awakens,’ which will be released December 18, will feature several returning characters as well as a host of new ones. Here is a guide to the characters of ‘Star Wars: The Force Awakens.’

Robert De Niro Stunned To Learn Of Man Who Can Quote ‘Goodfellas’

‘Bring Him To Me,’ Actor Demands

NEW YORK—Immediately halting production on his latest project after hearing of the incredible talent, legendary actor Robert De Niro was reportedly stunned to learn Wednesday that Bayonne, NJ resident Eric Sullivan, 33, can quote the critically acclaimed 1990 Martin Scorsese film Goodfellas at length.

Timeline Of The James Bond Series

This week marks the release of the 24th film in the James Bond franchise, Spectre, featuring Daniel Craig in his fourth appearance as the British secret agent. Here are some notable moments from the film series’s 53-year history
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Entertainment

Your Horoscopes - Week Of January 31, 2012

  • Aries

    Aries | March 21 to April 19

    You've got tough row to hoe in front of you this week, which seems like merely a folksy euphemism until you find you've inherited a run-down potato farm.
  • Taurus

    Taurus | April 20 to May 20

    Conflicts at work and at home are cleared up instantly this week when you decide that all women are basically just crazy bitches.
  • Gemini

    Gemini | May 21 to June 20

    You are relived to find that, although you've left the window open and pages are indeed being torn from the calendar, you're not actually hurtling though time at a breakneck pace.
  • Cancer

    Cancer | June 21 to July 22

    Your life certainly isn't working out the way you had planned. Try to find some sort of equivalent of unplugging it and starting it over.
  • Leo

    Leo | July 23 to Aug. 22

    You're pretty sure that if God had really meant for man to fly, he would have given us all the ability to afford our own airplanes.
  • Virgo

    Virgo | Aug. 23 to Sept. 22

    The furious mobs will finally stop burning you in effigy next week, but only because they've decided to stop playing around with dolls and go right to the source.
  • Libra

    Libra | Sept. 23 to Oct. 22

    You've always enjoyed story problems, so maybe you'll enjoy the one the police tell you about your car being found 200 miles away three days ago with eight dead women in the trunk.
  • Scorpio

    Scorpio | Oct. 23 to Nov. 21

    The really interesting thing about next week isn't the remarkable size of the lobsters or how the polluted environment has affected their aggressiveness, but it's closely related.
  • Sagittarius

    Sagittarius | Nov. 22 to Dec. 21

    The bad news is your favorite shirt will be stained beyond saving next week; the good news is your favorite tie will be untouched, which is miraculous when you think about how many times you'll be shot.
  • Capricorn

    Capricorn | Dec. 22 to Jan. 19

    The problems of reconciling the spiritual and material, or the intellectual and emotional, shall seem as nothing to you when compared with the problem of asking Erin out to the movies.
  • Aquarius

    Aquarius | Jan. 20 to Feb. 18

    They may be laughing at you now, but they'll have to stop eventually if only to eat, catch their breath, and get a good night's sleep in preparation for laughing at you all day tomorrow.
  • Pisces

    Pisces | Feb. 19 to March 20

    Sometimes all you want is to relax in your sweats with a movie and a bowl of popcorn, but this week you'll want six units of whole blood, clean bandages, a splint, and plenty of morphine.

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