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Your Horoscopes – Week Of January 7, 2014

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Entertainment

50 Years Of ‘Star Trek’

Star Trek, the science-fiction show about the crew of the starship Enterprise, premiered 50 years ago today on NBC, spawning a cult following and decades of spin-offs. Here are some milestones from the franchise’s 50-year history

How Big-Budget Movies Flop

Despite the recent box-office failures of Exodus, Ben-Hur, and Gods Of Egypt, studios continue to fund big-budget movies they hope will achieve blockbuster success. The Onion provides a step-by-step breakdown of how one of these movies becomes a flop:

Your Horoscopes — Week Of August 30, 2016

ARIES: Sometimes in life, you just need to stop whatever it is you’re doing and take a step back. Actually, maybe it’s two steps back. Yeah, that’s good. Keep going. The stars will let you know when you’re far enough.

‘Rugrats’ Turns 25

This August marks the 25th anniversary of the premiere of Rugrats, the beloved Nickelodeon cartoon about intrepid baby Tommy Pickles and his group of toddler friends. Here are some milestones from the show’s nine-season run

Your Horoscopes — Week Of August 9, 2016

ARIES: Your life’s story will soon play out in front of movie theater audiences across the country, though it’ll only last about 30 seconds and advertise free soft drink refills in the main lobby.

Director Has Clear Vision Of How Studio Will Destroy Movie

LOS ANGELES—Saying he can already picture exactly what the finished cut will look like on the big screen, Hollywood film director Paul Stanton told reporters Wednesday he has a clear vision of how studio executives will totally destroy his upcoming movie.

Your Horoscopes — Week Of June 14, 2016

ARIES: Once the laughter dies down, the party favors are put away, and the monkeys led back inside their cages, you’ll finally be given a chance to explain your side of the story.
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Your Horoscopes – Week Of January 7, 2014

  • Aries

    Aries | March 21 to April 19

    While it's true that love has no boundaries, no limits, and no rules, your court-appointed restraining order has all three.
  • Taurus

    Taurus | April 20 to May 20

    Avoid making any important decisions this week. And, come to think of it, next week as well. In fact, assume this is always the case unless the stars tell you otherwise.
  • Gemini

    Gemini | May 21 to June 20

    You'll continue to sweat the small stuff this Thursday, thanks to a set of abnormally large exocrine glands.
  • Cancer

    Cancer | June 21 to July 22

    Remember: Sometimes in life you just have to roll the dice, move your wheelbarrow to St. James Place, and pay the $70 dollars in total rent.
  • Leo

    Leo | July 23 to Aug. 22

    Possessed by satanic forces, your dog will soon order you to murder all those squirrels.
  • Virgo

    Virgo | Aug. 23 to Sept. 22

    There's no worse fate than dying alone. Thankfully, you'll be surrounded by hundreds of airline passengers when it happens.
  • Libra

    Libra | Sept. 23 to Oct. 22

    A cleansing fire will sweep across the land, purifying countless souls, purging all guilt and sin, and defrosting a number of delicious Hungry-Man dinners.
  • Scorpio

    Scorpio | Oct. 23 to Nov. 21

    You'll feel like a kid again this week, thanks to an unexpected visit from your Uncle Joe.
  • Sagittarius

    Sagittarius | Nov. 22 to Dec. 21

    If you can't smile and laugh at work occasionally, then you're clearly doing something wrong, Mr. Surgical Oncologist.
  • Capricorn

    Capricorn | Dec. 22 to Jan. 19

    You never thought you'd end up a billionaire, living in a palatial mansion, and jet-setting around the world. So it's no real disappointment, when you don't.
  • Aquarius

    Aquarius | Jan. 20 to Feb. 18

    Your lucky compound modifiers for this week are: long-term, hard-fought and military-history.
  • Pisces

    Pisces | Feb. 19 to March 20

    Lately it seems like nobody respects your feelings, but why don't you just shut up for a second and let the stars worry about it.

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