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What To Watch For In The New Obi-Wan Kenobi Film

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Most Anticipated Panels At Comic-Con

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Your Horoscopes - Week Of July 12, 2011 

  • Aries

    Aries | March 21 to April 19

    You're sick and tired of being treated like a child, except for the sexy parts where they change your dirty, filthy diapers.
  • Taurus

    Taurus | April 20 to May 20

    Remember: If you give in to the impulses to do whatever you want with your life, you'll become one of those happy, satisfied people you resent so much.
  • Gemini

    Gemini | May 21 to June 20

    You may treasure the sense of mystery you have about the future, but really, learning the days of the week won't ruin the magic.
  • Cancer

    Cancer | June 21 to July 22

    Travel and adventure are in your future this week as your captors continue crossing state lines to stay one step ahead of the law.
  • Leo

    Leo | July 23 to Aug. 22

    You'll wake up naked in a hotel bed between the corpses of a prostitute and a district attorney and have no memory of what happened, but presumably it's the same situation as last time.
  • Virgo

    Virgo | Aug. 23 to Sept. 22

    You'll soon experience redoubled energy, a renewed sense of purpose, and a profound rush of confidence, proving once again that cocaine cannot be trusted.
  • Libra

    Libra | Sept. 23 to Oct. 22

    Your sneaking feeling that people are out to get you just shows how delusional you are, as you should know damn good and well that they're out to get you.
  • Scorpio

    Scorpio | Oct. 23 to Nov. 21

    They say lightning never strikes twice, which doesn't explain what's been happening to you at three o'clock every Wednesday for the past three months.
  • Sagittarius

    Sagittarius | Nov. 22 to Dec. 21

    You always dreamed of being a human cannonball, but you had no idea that advances in artillery technology would limit your career to a very small number of appearances.
  • Capricorn

    Capricorn | Dec. 22 to Jan. 19

    They'll say what you did to all those nurses was unspeakable and ugly, but you know in your heart they're all really just jealous.
  • Aquarius

    Aquarius | Jan. 20 to Feb. 18

    You may have great quantities of bravado, élan, and puissance, but there's no way to be sure until you find out what those words mean.
  • Pisces

    Pisces | Feb. 19 to March 20

    The stars foresee many amazing things ahead of you this week, but really, they're too good to just tell you about in advance.

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