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What You Need To Know About Last Night’s Oscars Debacle

Many viewers were left wondering about the sequence of events that led to the initial erroneous declaration of ‘La La Land’ as the Best Picture winner at the Academy Awards Sunday instead of the real winner, ‘Moonlight’. The Onion breaks down what you need to know about this fiasco.

Brad Pitt Sidelined 6 To 8 Weeks With Red Carpet Toe

LOS ANGELES—Saying doctors strongly recommended that he stay off the injured foot, representatives for Brad Pitt confirmed to reporters Sunday that the actor was sidelined six to eight weeks with a case of red carpet toe.

The Onion’s 2017 Oscar Picks

The 89th Academy Awards features a more diverse slate of film and actor nominees than in past years, though the ceremony could still field #OscarsSoWhite criticism. Here are The Onion’s picks for who should take home the coveted Oscar statuettes:
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Your Horoscopes - Week Of July 17, 2012

  • Aries

    Aries | March 21 to April 19

    You’ve tried all your life to follow your dreams, probably because you had no idea of the terrible places they’d ultimately be going.
  • Taurus

    Taurus | April 20 to May 20

    The existence of rogue waves has been confirmed for well over 15 years, but until your sudden drowning next week, they won’t have been known to make it all the way to Kansas City.
  • Gemini

    Gemini | May 21 to June 20

    It seems your own cat isn’t one of those cats that dials 911 when its owner sets fire to the apartment while trying to figure out how to deep-fry Snickers bars.
  • Cancer

    Cancer | June 21 to July 22

    After years of development and hundreds of simulations, the French government has announced its ultraminiaturized nuclear device is ready to test on you.
  • Leo

    Leo | July 23 to Aug. 22

    While it’s a myth that secret millionaires’ clubs hunt human beings for sheer sport, you’ll learn the hard way that some of them do it out of an altruistic sense of duty to society.
  • Virgo

    Virgo | Aug. 23 to Sept. 22

    You’ll be getting down and dirty, as well as hot and heavy, quite a lot in the near future, but that’s mostly because it’s time to move.
  • Libra

    Libra | Sept. 23 to Oct. 22

    Your life will continue in an uneventful and unremarkable fashion for most of the next week, but before it’s out you’ll have had at least one really good sandwich.
  • Scorpio

    Scorpio | Oct. 23 to Nov. 21

    You’ll soon meet a dark stranger and join him in taking a night journey across the water, but hey, that’s modern business travel for you.
  • Sagittarius

    Sagittarius | Nov. 22 to Dec. 21

    You may have been deeply hurt by it dozens of times, and certainly you know others whose experiences haven’t been anything to write home about, but there’s really nothing intrinsically wrong with love.
  • Capricorn

    Capricorn | Dec. 22 to Jan. 19

    After decades of being repeatedly hit by buses, you’ll finally sit down and talk with one face-to-face and realize that was just their unique way of expressing their affection all along.
  • Aquarius

    Aquarius | Jan. 20 to Feb. 18

    You’ve always thought of yourself as a people person; after all, you have to have an interest in people in order to eat so many of them.
  • Pisces

    Pisces | Feb. 19 to March 20

    You really thought that when it finally all came to an end it’d be a little more dramatic than this.
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What You Need To Know About Last Night’s Oscars Debacle

Many viewers were left wondering about the sequence of events that led to the initial erroneous declaration of ‘La La Land’ as the Best Picture winner at the Academy Awards Sunday instead of the real winner, ‘Moonlight’. The Onion breaks down what you need to know about this fiasco.

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