Your Horoscopes - Week Of July 3rd, 2012

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‘Winnie-The-Pooh’ Turns 90

Winnie-The-Pooh, the A.A. Milne series featuring a stuffed bear and his toy animal friends, debuted 90 years ago this week. Here are some milestones from the franchise’s nearly century-long run:

50 Years Of ‘Star Trek’

Star Trek, the science-fiction show about the crew of the starship Enterprise, premiered 50 years ago today on NBC, spawning a cult following and decades of spin-offs. Here are some milestones from the franchise’s 50-year history

How Big-Budget Movies Flop

Despite the recent box-office failures of Exodus, Ben-Hur, and Gods Of Egypt, studios continue to fund big-budget movies they hope will achieve blockbuster success. The Onion provides a step-by-step breakdown of how one of these movies becomes a flop:

Your Horoscopes — Week Of August 30, 2016

ARIES: Sometimes in life, you just need to stop whatever it is you’re doing and take a step back. Actually, maybe it’s two steps back. Yeah, that’s good. Keep going. The stars will let you know when you’re far enough.

‘Rugrats’ Turns 25

This August marks the 25th anniversary of the premiere of Rugrats, the beloved Nickelodeon cartoon about intrepid baby Tommy Pickles and his group of toddler friends. Here are some milestones from the show’s nine-season run

Your Horoscopes — Week Of August 9, 2016

ARIES: Your life’s story will soon play out in front of movie theater audiences across the country, though it’ll only last about 30 seconds and advertise free soft drink refills in the main lobby.

Director Has Clear Vision Of How Studio Will Destroy Movie

LOS ANGELES—Saying he can already picture exactly what the finished cut will look like on the big screen, Hollywood film director Paul Stanton told reporters Wednesday he has a clear vision of how studio executives will totally destroy his upcoming movie.

Your Horoscopes — Week Of June 14, 2016

ARIES: Once the laughter dies down, the party favors are put away, and the monkeys led back inside their cages, you’ll finally be given a chance to explain your side of the story.
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Your Horoscopes - Week Of July 3rd, 2012

  • Aries

    Aries | March 21 to April 19

    Remember, taking drugs is no way to be cool and have fun. Selling drugs is the way to be cool and have fun.
  • Taurus

    Taurus | April 20 to May 20

    There's almost certainly a more efficient way to get through life, but by this point you're pretty used to just following any old conga line that goes by.
  • Gemini

    Gemini | May 21 to June 20

    Someday you'll find you're no longer capable of working 60 hours a week just to scrape by, which is probably right when you'll finally get a job.
  • Cancer

    Cancer | June 21 to July 22

    The stars aren't sure what's worse: that you keep insisting you're the inspiration for the lizard in the insurance commercials, or that it's true and you seem to take such pride in it.
  • Leo

    Leo | July 23 to Aug. 22

    The very heavens themselves shall bestow their benevolence upon you this week, allowing you to take 15 percent off selected entrées at a popular chain of restaurants.
  • Virgo

    Virgo | Aug. 23 to Sept. 22

    You were pretty sure your long, hellish ordeal was finally over, but it turns out it was renewed for another season and you still can't stop watching it.
  • Libra

    Libra | Sept. 23 to Oct. 22

    You will be instrumental in disproving several popular theories next week, including the ideas that laughter is good for the soul and that a little fresh air never hurt anyone.
  • Scorpio

    Scorpio | Oct. 23 to Nov. 21

    A lot of people will be thinking about nothing but sex and violence all day, but you're the only one doing something about it.
  • Sagittarius

    Sagittarius | Nov. 22 to Dec. 21

    The most difficult week of your life is coming up, but take heart: If you can get through that, you'll have something to remember during the next 1,872 uniformly boring weeks of your life.
  • Capricorn

    Capricorn | Dec. 22 to Jan. 19

    It's not right to tell someone you could make a better bowl of chili with your asshole. Be the better person and show them how.
  • Aquarius

    Aquarius | Jan. 20 to Feb. 18

    You will cry because you have no shoes, until you see one of those guys who wears fingerless gloves everywhere. Then you'll think, Jesus Christ, at least you're not that guy.
  • Pisces

    Pisces | Feb. 19 to March 20

    The stars say to hold tight. Your life is about to undergo a dramatic change. Feel free to interpret that as a hopeful statement if you like.


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