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How Movies Receive Their Ratings

Many Americans use the MPAA’s formalized rating system as a guide for which films to see. The Onion provides a step-by-step view into how these ratings are chosen:

‘Winnie-The-Pooh’ Turns 90

Winnie-The-Pooh, the A.A. Milne series featuring a stuffed bear and his toy animal friends, debuted 90 years ago this week. Here are some milestones from the franchise’s nearly century-long run:

50 Years Of ‘Star Trek’

Star Trek, the science-fiction show about the crew of the starship Enterprise, premiered 50 years ago today on NBC, spawning a cult following and decades of spin-offs. Here are some milestones from the franchise’s 50-year history

How Big-Budget Movies Flop

Despite the recent box-office failures of Exodus, Ben-Hur, and Gods Of Egypt, studios continue to fund big-budget movies they hope will achieve blockbuster success. The Onion provides a step-by-step breakdown of how one of these movies becomes a flop:

Your Horoscopes — Week Of August 30, 2016

ARIES: Sometimes in life, you just need to stop whatever it is you’re doing and take a step back. Actually, maybe it’s two steps back. Yeah, that’s good. Keep going. The stars will let you know when you’re far enough.

‘Rugrats’ Turns 25

This August marks the 25th anniversary of the premiere of Rugrats, the beloved Nickelodeon cartoon about intrepid baby Tommy Pickles and his group of toddler friends. Here are some milestones from the show’s nine-season run

Your Horoscopes — Week Of August 9, 2016

ARIES: Your life’s story will soon play out in front of movie theater audiences across the country, though it’ll only last about 30 seconds and advertise free soft drink refills in the main lobby.

Director Has Clear Vision Of How Studio Will Destroy Movie

LOS ANGELES—Saying he can already picture exactly what the finished cut will look like on the big screen, Hollywood film director Paul Stanton told reporters Wednesday he has a clear vision of how studio executives will totally destroy his upcoming movie.

Your Horoscopes — Week Of June 14, 2016

ARIES: Once the laughter dies down, the party favors are put away, and the monkeys led back inside their cages, you’ll finally be given a chance to explain your side of the story.

Lost Jack London Manuscript, ‘The Doggy,’ Found

RYE, NY—Workers inventorying the estate of a recently deceased Westchester County art dealer earlier this month reportedly stumbled upon a draft of a previously unknown Jack London novel titled The Doggy, and the work is already being hailed by many within the literary world as a masterpiece.

Guide To The Characters Of ‘The Force Awakens’

The highly anticipated seventh episode in the ‘Star Wars’ series, ‘The Force Awakens,’ which will be released December 18, will feature several returning characters as well as a host of new ones. Here is a guide to the characters of ‘Star Wars: The Force Awakens.’

Robert De Niro Stunned To Learn Of Man Who Can Quote ‘Goodfellas’

‘Bring Him To Me,’ Actor Demands

NEW YORK—Immediately halting production on his latest project after hearing of the incredible talent, legendary actor Robert De Niro was reportedly stunned to learn Wednesday that Bayonne, NJ resident Eric Sullivan, 33, can quote the critically acclaimed 1990 Martin Scorsese film Goodfellas at length.

Timeline Of The James Bond Series

This week marks the release of the 24th film in the James Bond franchise, Spectre, featuring Daniel Craig in his fourth appearance as the British secret agent. Here are some notable moments from the film series’s 53-year history
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Entertainment

Your Horoscopes — Week Of June 24, 2014

  • Aries

    Aries | March 21 to April 19

    Love is strong in your sign this week. Please be advised that, precession of the equinoxes or not, this is still your sign.
  • Taurus

    Taurus | April 20 to May 20

    Outside influences will attempt to bedazzle you with strange mathematics and exotic rhetoric about a strange new sign in the sky, preventing you from meeting a dark-haired stranger.
  • Gemini

    Gemini | May 21 to June 20

    Just as the ancient Babylonians were wise to restrict the telling of the future to a mere dozen signs, you would be wise to start new projects at work this week.
  • Cancer

    Cancer | June 21 to July 22

    Vast and mighty cosmic forces stemming from the twelve majestic signs of the Zodiac have conspired to foresee travel in your future.That's right, twelve majestic signs, not thirteen.
  • Leo

    Leo | July 23 to Aug. 22

    You know what's a stupid name for a Zodiac sign? Ohpiuchus. It certainly doesn't sound like a sign that would warn you not to make big financial decisions until the full moon.
  • Virgo

    Virgo | Aug. 23 to Sept. 22

    This would be a good time to beware of those who would make major changes to your dearly-held belief systems.
  • Libra

    Libra | Sept. 23 to Oct. 22

    Wait, if an existing constellation has that great an effect on one’s destiny, then why didn't anyone make a fuss about Eris, Sedna and Quaoar, the planet-sized objects in the Kuiper belt?
  • Scorpio

    Scorpio | Oct. 23 to Nov. 21

    Saturn rising in your sign will subject you to the powerful force of Fate, which everybody knows is stronger by far than electromagnetism, gravity, or the nuclear strong and weak forces.
  • Sagittarius

    Sagittarius | Nov. 22 to Dec. 21

    Just keep repeating: No matter what, you are still a . You are still a . You are still a .
  • Capricorn

    Capricorn | Dec. 22 to Jan. 19

    Faith is the evidence of things not seen, which any well-rounded human being must admit ids better than only trusting good hard provable evidence.
  • Aquarius

    Aquarius | Jan. 20 to Feb. 18

    This is a good week to spend with family, which is the kind of advice stupid old Ohpiuchus would never have given you.
  • Pisces

    Pisces | Feb. 19 to March 20

    Learn to trust your heart. No one ever grew spiritually as a person by doing what the numbers and the science clearly indicate they should do.

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