Your Horoscopes - Week Of May 11, 2010

Top Headlines


‘Winnie-The-Pooh’ Turns 90

Winnie-The-Pooh, the A.A. Milne series featuring a stuffed bear and his toy animal friends, debuted 90 years ago this week. Here are some milestones from the franchise’s nearly century-long run:

50 Years Of ‘Star Trek’

Star Trek, the science-fiction show about the crew of the starship Enterprise, premiered 50 years ago today on NBC, spawning a cult following and decades of spin-offs. Here are some milestones from the franchise’s 50-year history

How Big-Budget Movies Flop

Despite the recent box-office failures of Exodus, Ben-Hur, and Gods Of Egypt, studios continue to fund big-budget movies they hope will achieve blockbuster success. The Onion provides a step-by-step breakdown of how one of these movies becomes a flop:

Your Horoscopes — Week Of August 30, 2016

ARIES: Sometimes in life, you just need to stop whatever it is you’re doing and take a step back. Actually, maybe it’s two steps back. Yeah, that’s good. Keep going. The stars will let you know when you’re far enough.

‘Rugrats’ Turns 25

This August marks the 25th anniversary of the premiere of Rugrats, the beloved Nickelodeon cartoon about intrepid baby Tommy Pickles and his group of toddler friends. Here are some milestones from the show’s nine-season run

Your Horoscopes — Week Of August 9, 2016

ARIES: Your life’s story will soon play out in front of movie theater audiences across the country, though it’ll only last about 30 seconds and advertise free soft drink refills in the main lobby.

Director Has Clear Vision Of How Studio Will Destroy Movie

LOS ANGELES—Saying he can already picture exactly what the finished cut will look like on the big screen, Hollywood film director Paul Stanton told reporters Wednesday he has a clear vision of how studio executives will totally destroy his upcoming movie.

Your Horoscopes — Week Of June 14, 2016

ARIES: Once the laughter dies down, the party favors are put away, and the monkeys led back inside their cages, you’ll finally be given a chance to explain your side of the story.
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Your Horoscopes - Week Of May 11, 2010

  • Aries

    Aries | March 21 to April 19

    Enlightenment and confusion will both be yours this week, when a tree falls in the woods only to make the sound of one hand clapping.
  • Taurus

    Taurus | April 20 to May 20

    After years of zoological study and careful consideration, you've decided that what separates us from the animals is a clever system of ditches and barriers.
  • Gemini

    Gemini | May 21 to June 20

    Bowing to public pressure, manufacturers will soon introduce a new version of you that's both environmentally friendly and completely free of pesticides.
  • Cancer

    Cancer | June 21 to July 22

    Wilderness sports may be growing in popularity, but people are not yet ready to appreciate your expertise at trout-shotgunning.
  • Leo

    Leo | July 23 to Aug. 22

    Children are our nation's greatest natural resource. Keep a stockpile of them in your basement in the event of an emergency.
  • Virgo

    Virgo | Aug. 23 to Sept. 22

    There's something the stars have been meaning to tell you about elephants, but you'll soon find out for yourself.
  • Libra

    Libra | Sept. 23 to Oct. 22

    Plastic bags can wreak havoc on the environment, especially if like you, people keep using them to suffocate trees.
  • Scorpio

    Scorpio | Oct. 23 to Nov. 21

    And to think you laughed when your high-school yearbook named you Most Likely To Be Responsible For The Extinction Of The Frigate Bird.
  • Sagittarius

    Sagittarius | Nov. 22 to Dec. 21

    You'll finally become one with nature this week, thanks to a simple process known only as disintegration.
  • Capricorn

    Capricorn | Dec. 22 to Jan. 19

    It may be years before your coworkers treat you with respect again, but it will have been worth it for the brief time spent inside the panda suit.
  • Aquarius

    Aquarius | Jan. 20 to Feb. 18

    Please stop referring to your bouts of gastrointestinal flatulence as "turning on the ol' wind farm." That's not helping anyone.
  • Pisces

    Pisces | Feb. 19 to March 20

    You've never thought of yourself as an innovator in livestock genetics, as you have regular sex with them just like anybody else.


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