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How Movies Receive Their Ratings

Many Americans use the MPAA’s formalized rating system as a guide for which films to see. The Onion provides a step-by-step view into how these ratings are chosen:

‘Winnie-The-Pooh’ Turns 90

Winnie-The-Pooh, the A.A. Milne series featuring a stuffed bear and his toy animal friends, debuted 90 years ago this week. Here are some milestones from the franchise’s nearly century-long run:

50 Years Of ‘Star Trek’

Star Trek, the science-fiction show about the crew of the starship Enterprise, premiered 50 years ago today on NBC, spawning a cult following and decades of spin-offs. Here are some milestones from the franchise’s 50-year history

How Big-Budget Movies Flop

Despite the recent box-office failures of Exodus, Ben-Hur, and Gods Of Egypt, studios continue to fund big-budget movies they hope will achieve blockbuster success. The Onion provides a step-by-step breakdown of how one of these movies becomes a flop:

Your Horoscopes — Week Of August 30, 2016

ARIES: Sometimes in life, you just need to stop whatever it is you’re doing and take a step back. Actually, maybe it’s two steps back. Yeah, that’s good. Keep going. The stars will let you know when you’re far enough.

‘Rugrats’ Turns 25

This August marks the 25th anniversary of the premiere of Rugrats, the beloved Nickelodeon cartoon about intrepid baby Tommy Pickles and his group of toddler friends. Here are some milestones from the show’s nine-season run

Your Horoscopes — Week Of August 9, 2016

ARIES: Your life’s story will soon play out in front of movie theater audiences across the country, though it’ll only last about 30 seconds and advertise free soft drink refills in the main lobby.

Director Has Clear Vision Of How Studio Will Destroy Movie

LOS ANGELES—Saying he can already picture exactly what the finished cut will look like on the big screen, Hollywood film director Paul Stanton told reporters Wednesday he has a clear vision of how studio executives will totally destroy his upcoming movie.

Your Horoscopes — Week Of June 14, 2016

ARIES: Once the laughter dies down, the party favors are put away, and the monkeys led back inside their cages, you’ll finally be given a chance to explain your side of the story.

Lost Jack London Manuscript, ‘The Doggy,’ Found

RYE, NY—Workers inventorying the estate of a recently deceased Westchester County art dealer earlier this month reportedly stumbled upon a draft of a previously unknown Jack London novel titled The Doggy, and the work is already being hailed by many within the literary world as a masterpiece.

Guide To The Characters Of ‘The Force Awakens’

The highly anticipated seventh episode in the ‘Star Wars’ series, ‘The Force Awakens,’ which will be released December 18, will feature several returning characters as well as a host of new ones. Here is a guide to the characters of ‘Star Wars: The Force Awakens.’

Robert De Niro Stunned To Learn Of Man Who Can Quote ‘Goodfellas’

‘Bring Him To Me,’ Actor Demands

NEW YORK—Immediately halting production on his latest project after hearing of the incredible talent, legendary actor Robert De Niro was reportedly stunned to learn Wednesday that Bayonne, NJ resident Eric Sullivan, 33, can quote the critically acclaimed 1990 Martin Scorsese film Goodfellas at length.

Timeline Of The James Bond Series

This week marks the release of the 24th film in the James Bond franchise, Spectre, featuring Daniel Craig in his fourth appearance as the British secret agent. Here are some notable moments from the film series’s 53-year history
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Entertainment

Your Horoscopes - Week Of May 16, 2011 

  • Aries

    Aries | March 21 to April 19

    You'll be pleasantly surprised by how many of your life's problems can be temporarily solved by just not paying attention.
  • Taurus

    Taurus | April 20 to May 20

    Do not doubt for one second that love is real. However, your cutesy, saccharine idea of love is about as far from reality as it is possible to imagine.
  • Gemini

    Gemini | May 21 to June 20

    For the last time: Just because others are getting jiggy with it does not mean society gives you permission to try and follow suit.
  • Cancer

    Cancer | June 21 to July 22

    It may be true that sometimes you feel like a motherless child a long way from home, but for accuracy's sake, you should just be feeling like a self-pitying asshole.
  • Leo

    Leo | July 23 to Aug. 22

    Although you didn't think you had any "Greatest Hits," there they are, 10 of them, for sale on cassette tape at a Knoxville-area Flying J truck stop.
  • Virgo

    Virgo | Aug. 23 to Sept. 22

    You'll never be able to express your love for others, so take what comfort you can in your ability to express a need for more stuffed potato skins.
  • Libra

    Libra | Sept. 23 to Oct. 22

    You had such great plans for the future, but sadly, they depended on the invention of room- temperature fusion and you learning to get up before noon.
  • Scorpio

    Scorpio | Oct. 23 to Nov. 21

    You're not sure what you expected, but life as a cliff diver is no different from life as a data entry technician, except for all the cliff diving and the lack of data entry.
  • Sagittarius

    Sagittarius | Nov. 22 to Dec. 21

    Try as you might, you won't be able to remember the name of that one movie where Henry Fonda plays a real son of a bitch.
  • Capricorn

    Capricorn | Dec. 22 to Jan. 19

    Seriously, if you keep being such a creepo to the stars' buddy Sophie, they'll have to remind you exactly who controls the meteor showers in this here cosmos.
  • Aquarius

    Aquarius | Jan. 20 to Feb. 18

    Your new job in the severe-burn ward is less fun than you'd anticipated, as it turns out the patients show up already like that.
  • Pisces

    Pisces | Feb. 19 to March 20

    It's a terrible time to travel, start a new romance, or take initiative in business matters, which is odd, zodiac-wise, as it's usually the other way around.

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