Your Horoscopes – Week of May 8, 2012

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‘Winnie-The-Pooh’ Turns 90

Winnie-The-Pooh, the A.A. Milne series featuring a stuffed bear and his toy animal friends, debuted 90 years ago this week. Here are some milestones from the franchise’s nearly century-long run:

50 Years Of ‘Star Trek’

Star Trek, the science-fiction show about the crew of the starship Enterprise, premiered 50 years ago today on NBC, spawning a cult following and decades of spin-offs. Here are some milestones from the franchise’s 50-year history

How Big-Budget Movies Flop

Despite the recent box-office failures of Exodus, Ben-Hur, and Gods Of Egypt, studios continue to fund big-budget movies they hope will achieve blockbuster success. The Onion provides a step-by-step breakdown of how one of these movies becomes a flop:

Your Horoscopes — Week Of August 30, 2016

ARIES: Sometimes in life, you just need to stop whatever it is you’re doing and take a step back. Actually, maybe it’s two steps back. Yeah, that’s good. Keep going. The stars will let you know when you’re far enough.

‘Rugrats’ Turns 25

This August marks the 25th anniversary of the premiere of Rugrats, the beloved Nickelodeon cartoon about intrepid baby Tommy Pickles and his group of toddler friends. Here are some milestones from the show’s nine-season run

Your Horoscopes — Week Of August 9, 2016

ARIES: Your life’s story will soon play out in front of movie theater audiences across the country, though it’ll only last about 30 seconds and advertise free soft drink refills in the main lobby.

Director Has Clear Vision Of How Studio Will Destroy Movie

LOS ANGELES—Saying he can already picture exactly what the finished cut will look like on the big screen, Hollywood film director Paul Stanton told reporters Wednesday he has a clear vision of how studio executives will totally destroy his upcoming movie.
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Your Horoscopes – Week of May 8, 2012

  • Aries

    Aries | March 21 to April 19

    You've tried everything you can think of to stop yourself from gaining weight. Unfortunately, you have your best ideas while eating entire coconut-cream pies.
  • Taurus

    Taurus | April 20 to May 20

    Despite your efforts to be a modern-day hero, you will slowly develop into a postmodern-era Internet meme.
  • Gemini

    Gemini | May 21 to June 20

    You’ve delivered babies, made passionate love, and built up your own business, but you'll finally encounter a problem you can't solve with your fists.
  • Cancer

    Cancer | June 21 to July 22

    You will learn through bitter experience why there’s no Book Of Doug in the Bible.
  • Leo

    Leo | July 23 to Aug. 22

    Leos are known for their forgiving and compassionate nature, which is probably why you keep getting screwed with your pants on.
  • Virgo

    Virgo | Aug. 23 to Sept. 22

    Your insatiable need to be the center of attention leads to your becoming loathed and shunned, except by the millions of fans of your TV show.
  • Libra

    Libra | Sept. 23 to Oct. 22

    You will soon encounter a strapping, sexy authority figure, but be wary: In the early stages of the relationship, it's better to just let him give you the speeding ticket.
  • Scorpio

    Scorpio | Oct. 23 to Nov. 21

    Although you’ve tried to be a decent person, that will eventually wind up making everything that much funnier to observers.
  • Sagittarius

    Sagittarius | Nov. 22 to Dec. 21

    Jupiter has entered your sign, which is usually great, but this time he'll stay for at least a week longer than is comfortable, use up all your clean towels and toilet paper, and never offer to pay for a damn thing.
  • Capricorn

    Capricorn | Dec. 22 to Jan. 19

    While it's true you often sit AROUND the house, this has little to do with your weight.
  • Aquarius

    Aquarius | Jan. 20 to Feb. 18

    You're not the kind of person who is afraid of a little hard work, which in today's corporate world means you're pretty much fucked.
  • Pisces

    Pisces | Feb. 19 to March 20

    When you said in a fit of despair that “everyone hates” you, you forgot about Tammy. If anything, she likes you a little too much for comfort.


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