Your Horoscopes - Week Of November 1, 2011

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Vol 47 Issue 44

How To Rise To The Challenge

Life doesn't always go the way you plan. Sometimes, an obstacle comes along—be it at work, in your home life, or elsewhere—that you need to overcome.

Walking Dead

AMC 9 p.m. EST/8 p.m. CST The gang begins to turn on one another amid suspicions one of them might secretly be a zombie.

November 8

The Greensboro Friend of Gays and Lesbians Group will be expanded to include an "s" on the end of "Friend," as the group now has more than one member.

Grey's Boobs

ABC 9 p.m. EST/8 p.m. CST In this new spin-off premiering tonight, they don't have time for her entire anatomy, so they're just concentrating on the good stuff.
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Just Like Everything Else!: Fox 8 p.m. EDT/7 p.m. ABC Pete's wife is still on him about building that darn shed, these kids are going to be the death of Sheila and Dave, and the hot next-door neighbor is up in EVERYBODY'S business! Sunday nights on ABC couldn't be any more familiar!

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Your Horoscopes - Week Of November 1, 2011

  • Aries

    Aries

    Next week will see you at the front of a ragtag band of orphans, but that shouldn't surprise you, as you've been running the world's shabbiest orphanage for years now.
  • Taurus

    Taurus

    You've always wanted to become a local legend, so please enjoy your fame as The Guy Who Smoked at the Gas Station and Everyone in the Next Town Thought Was a Meteor.
  • Gemini

    Gemini

    You'll reach your sexual peak tomorrow afternoon, surprising yourself almost more than the woman who owns the dachshunds.
  • Cancer

    Cancer

    We can't control who we fall in love with, but you're set to change all that with your new invention, the Love Controller 2.0.
  • Leo

    Leo

    You may be getting used to it and it may be more comfortable than you would have guessed, but there's always the possibility that someone will come along and turn the electric chair on.
  • Virgo

    Virgo

    Just when you finally get everything exactly the way you want it, you'll decide you liked the world a lot better when it had people in it.
  • Libra

    Libra

    If there's a moral to your story, you have yet to figure out what it is, which is pretty pathetic considering what that mouse went through to get the thorn out of your paw.
  • Scorpio

    Scorpio

    You've thought about titling your autobiography Untamed, but that might give away how you suffered all those bear-, tiger, and lion- related injuries.
  • Sagittarius

    Sagittarius

    Things have been looking dire, but you'll soon learn that a sponsorship deal with a local sausage company will fund you through 2012.
  • Capricorn

    Capricorn

    This is a good week for romance in the workplace, which is troubling for you and everyone else at the monastery.
  • Aquarius

    Aquarius

    The workings of the human heart have always been a mystery to you, but you'll soon figure it out thanks to a handy instructional pamphlet featuring a friendly cowboy.
  • Pisces

    Pisces

    You'll continue to struggle with your efforts to truly know yourself, but after being chased off every doorstep on the street, you'll be pretty sure you're not the milkman.
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