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How Movies Receive Their Ratings

Many Americans use the MPAA’s formalized rating system as a guide for which films to see. The Onion provides a step-by-step view into how these ratings are chosen:

‘Winnie-The-Pooh’ Turns 90

Winnie-The-Pooh, the A.A. Milne series featuring a stuffed bear and his toy animal friends, debuted 90 years ago this week. Here are some milestones from the franchise’s nearly century-long run:

50 Years Of ‘Star Trek’

Star Trek, the science-fiction show about the crew of the starship Enterprise, premiered 50 years ago today on NBC, spawning a cult following and decades of spin-offs. Here are some milestones from the franchise’s 50-year history

How Big-Budget Movies Flop

Despite the recent box-office failures of Exodus, Ben-Hur, and Gods Of Egypt, studios continue to fund big-budget movies they hope will achieve blockbuster success. The Onion provides a step-by-step breakdown of how one of these movies becomes a flop:

Your Horoscopes — Week Of August 30, 2016

ARIES: Sometimes in life, you just need to stop whatever it is you’re doing and take a step back. Actually, maybe it’s two steps back. Yeah, that’s good. Keep going. The stars will let you know when you’re far enough.

‘Rugrats’ Turns 25

This August marks the 25th anniversary of the premiere of Rugrats, the beloved Nickelodeon cartoon about intrepid baby Tommy Pickles and his group of toddler friends. Here are some milestones from the show’s nine-season run

Your Horoscopes — Week Of August 9, 2016

ARIES: Your life’s story will soon play out in front of movie theater audiences across the country, though it’ll only last about 30 seconds and advertise free soft drink refills in the main lobby.

Director Has Clear Vision Of How Studio Will Destroy Movie

LOS ANGELES—Saying he can already picture exactly what the finished cut will look like on the big screen, Hollywood film director Paul Stanton told reporters Wednesday he has a clear vision of how studio executives will totally destroy his upcoming movie.

Your Horoscopes — Week Of June 14, 2016

ARIES: Once the laughter dies down, the party favors are put away, and the monkeys led back inside their cages, you’ll finally be given a chance to explain your side of the story.

Lost Jack London Manuscript, ‘The Doggy,’ Found

RYE, NY—Workers inventorying the estate of a recently deceased Westchester County art dealer earlier this month reportedly stumbled upon a draft of a previously unknown Jack London novel titled The Doggy, and the work is already being hailed by many within the literary world as a masterpiece.

Guide To The Characters Of ‘The Force Awakens’

The highly anticipated seventh episode in the ‘Star Wars’ series, ‘The Force Awakens,’ which will be released December 18, will feature several returning characters as well as a host of new ones. Here is a guide to the characters of ‘Star Wars: The Force Awakens.’

Robert De Niro Stunned To Learn Of Man Who Can Quote ‘Goodfellas’

‘Bring Him To Me,’ Actor Demands

NEW YORK—Immediately halting production on his latest project after hearing of the incredible talent, legendary actor Robert De Niro was reportedly stunned to learn Wednesday that Bayonne, NJ resident Eric Sullivan, 33, can quote the critically acclaimed 1990 Martin Scorsese film Goodfellas at length.

Timeline Of The James Bond Series

This week marks the release of the 24th film in the James Bond franchise, Spectre, featuring Daniel Craig in his fourth appearance as the British secret agent. Here are some notable moments from the film series’s 53-year history
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Entertainment

Your Horoscopes - Week of September 20, 2011 

  • Aries

    Aries | March 21 to April 19

    Unfortunately for your personal philosophy, it turns out the free market has yet to come up with a truly effective way to just go up to women and start talking to them.
  • Taurus

    Taurus | April 20 to May 20

    At this very moment, hundreds of miles from where you are, some of the world's greatest intellects are attempting to change the way you think about sugar-free chewing gum.
  • Gemini

    Gemini | May 21 to June 20

    Your actions have not gone unnoticed. Prepare to receive a summons to appear before the House Subcommittee on Talking About Work While People Are Trying to Watch Football.
  • Cancer

    Cancer | June 21 to July 22

    Efficiency is all well and good, but the FBI agents are right to point out that from now on, kidnap the kid before you send the ransom note.
  • Leo

    Leo | July 23 to Aug. 22

    You'll undergo a crisis of conscience when you realize that, despite being a faithful American, you don't really want to watch anything that's on TV right now.
  • Virgo

    Virgo | Aug. 23 to Sept. 22

    The good news is that traveling will be somewhat easier for you after next week, as you'll never again need to complain about legroom or not having a decent view.
  • Libra

    Libra | Sept. 23 to Oct. 22

    The stars are happy to announce that starting next week you will pay your zodiac bill on time, if you know what's good for you.
  • Scorpio

    Scorpio | Oct. 23 to Nov. 21

    The pretty lady's boyfriend will actually be a lot more polite than he absolutely has to be when explaining to you that who dates her is not determined by an essay contest.
  • Sagittarius

    Sagittarius | Nov. 22 to Dec. 21

    You're not getting any younger, which means that a certain so-called "wizard" has a lot to explain concerning certain "reverse-aging potions."
  • Capricorn

    Capricorn | Dec. 22 to Jan. 19

    It turns out that whomever you have to sleep with to get a drink around here, it's not the bartenders, the owner, the waitresses, or the bouncer.
  • Aquarius

    Aquarius | Jan. 20 to Feb. 18

    You'll continue to inspire those closest to you to try and move away as quickly and quietly as possible.
  • Pisces

    Pisces | Feb. 19 to March 20

    Although your roommate thought it was crazy of you to buy all that plastic sheeting, you'll come home to find it applied to the walls and floors soon enough.

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