‘The Princess Bride’ By The Numbers

‘The Princess Bride’ was released 30 years ago today, and it has since become a classic beloved by people of all ages. ‘The Onion’ looks back at ‘The Princess Bride’ 30 years later.

Stunned Adam Schefter Receives Ominous Tip From Future Self

BRISTOL, CT—Slowly returning to his desk shaken and confused, sources reported Wednesday that ESPN NFL Insider Adam Schefter was stunned to receive an ominous tip from his future self while walking through one of his office building’s hallways.
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Biggest Announcements From E3

Each June, E3, or The Electronic Entertainment Expo, hosts game developers showing off their latest products. Here are this year’s most exciting announcements:

  • Nintendo debuted Super Mario Odyssey, which will finally give users a more naturalistic experience of running through the sewer

  • Atari disappointed fans with yet another delay of Pong 2

  • EA hinted that FIFA 18 will allow gamers to play as an FBI official investigating internal corruption

  • Adam Katz of Spokane, WA announced that he’s selling a Star Fox 64 cartridge, which is used but still in pretty good condition

  • Blowing away expectations, Microsoft revealed that the new Xbox One X will support non-sequel game titles

  • After years of development, Google previewed its new self-gaming console, enabling users to relax while their machines beat bosses for them

  • Microsoft pointed out that its electronic chess game is still a perfectly good way to spend a few minutes

  • Changing with the times, Bethesda announced that Wolfenstein II will allow players to fight on the side of the Nazis

  • Intel tapped into consumer nostalgia by reviving its $895 price tag from 1989

  • Ubisoft took the opportunity to tell everyone to get some fresh air

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