The Week In Sports

Milestones In X Games History

With the X Games kicking off in Minneapolis this Thursday, The Onion looks back at memorable moments in the event’s 22-year history:

ESPN Holds Daytime ESPYs

HARTFORD, CT—Recognizing the best in sports programming that occurs on weekdays from 9 a.m. to 5 p.m., ESPN held the Daytime ESPY Awards at the Hartford XL Center Wednesday afternoon.
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Highlights From The First Half Of The MLB Season

Onion Sports looks back at the finest moments from the first three months of the 2017 Major League Baseball season.

  • Angels star Mike Trout continues his pace to be one of the greatest baseball players of all time, leading fans everywhere from East Anaheim to West Anaheim to take notice

  • Nationals outfielder Bryce Harper offends the game’s traditionalists by trotting instead of running during mound charge

  • With a barrage of home runs, the Yankees’ Aaron Judge disproves the conventional wisdom that extremely large, incredibly strong people cannot succeed in sports

  • The Astros find success behind a core group of young players and excellent pitching, a feat they’ll have to keep up for another three whole months just to make the playoffs

  • MLB admits Statcast software has been calculating batting averages incorrectly the entire season

  • Mariners outfielder Ben Gamel plays with a youthful enthusiasm for the game that will certainly earn him a fastball to the head before season’s end

  • Miami’s Edinson Vólquez throws a no-hitter in front of nearly 300 Marlins fans

  • Some asshole in the stands catches two foul balls in the same game

  • Commissioner Rob Manfred adds more intrigue to the All-Star Game by announcing that the winning team will choose the World Series participants

  • Announcers broadcast a record-high 342 games in “perfect baseball weather”

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