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Study: Other Countries Weird

BOSTON—Examining a wide variety of cross-cultural data, a Boston University study released Monday determined that other countries are weird.

Japanese Family Puts Aging Robot In Retirement Home

KYOTO, JAPAN—Saying the move to the assisted care facility was the right decision after so many years of operation, members of the Akiyama family finally put their aging robot in a retirement home, sources reported Friday.

North Korea Successfully Detonates Nuclear Scientist

PYONGYANG—Hailing it as a significant step forward for their ballistic weapons program just hours after suffering a failed missile launch, North Korean leaders announced Monday they had successfully detonated a nuclear scientist.

Tokyo Portal Outage Delays Millions Of Japanese Warp Commuters

TOKYO—Saying the outdated system needed to be upgraded or replaced to avoid similar problems going forward, millions of inconvenienced Japanese warp commuters expressed frustration Thursday following a Tokyo portal outage that caused delays of up to eight seconds.
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How Countries Around The World View The U.S.

As a world leader of industry and influence, the United States has a variable reputation among other countries around the globe. The Onion breaks down how other nations view the U.S.:

  • Great Britain

    Flabbergasted that Americans would allow such an important vote to be hijacked by nation’s most blowhard ultraconservatives

  • Australia

    Doesn’t get to talk to the U.S. as often as it used to, but always really enjoys the chance to catch up

  • Palestine

    Cannot believe some of the places the U.S. is willing to recognize as a state

  • China

    Grateful for the unprecedented employment opportunities only America’s insatiable appetite for tube socks could have provided them

  • Seychelles

    With their beautiful tropical beaches and ideal climate, the people of the Seychelles spend as little time thinking about the U.S. as we do about them

  • Sudan

    Continues to be appalled by citizens who turn the shower on and then walk away for five minutes while it warms up

  • South Korea

    Delighted to produce our inscrutable cartoons

More from this section

Japanese Family Puts Aging Robot In Retirement Home

KYOTO, JAPAN—Saying the move to the assisted care facility was the right decision after so many years of operation, members of the Akiyama family finally put their aging robot in a retirement home, sources reported Friday.

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