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Top Family Vacation Spots

With school out for the summer, families are packing up and hitting the road. Here are The Onion’s top family vacation destinations.
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How To Keep Your Personal Information Secure

  • Encrypt any important paperwork in a three-speed blender.

  • Make sure the only people who have access to your personal identification, such as birth certificates and social security numbers, are you and a string of old landlords.

  • Monitor your credit card statements to make sure the only unusual purchases are the ones you made on Amazon while drunk.

  • Never provide personal details to anyone you don’t know, such as EMTs and firefighters.

  • Several government agencies are more than willing to hide your personal information in return for sworn testimony against the mafia.

  • Too bad Jack from Jack in the Box didn’t follow these tips. See what the hackers found at JackiLeaks.com.

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