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‘The Princess Bride’ By The Numbers

‘The Princess Bride’ was released 30 years ago today, and it has since become a classic beloved by people of all ages. ‘The Onion’ looks back at ‘The Princess Bride’ 30 years later.

Stunned Adam Schefter Receives Ominous Tip From Future Self

BRISTOL, CT—Slowly returning to his desk shaken and confused, sources reported Wednesday that ESPN NFL Insider Adam Schefter was stunned to receive an ominous tip from his future self while walking through one of his office building’s hallways.

Musical The Kind With Number About Putting On A Show

TALLAHASSEE, FL—Noting the increasingly animated choreography and behavior of the characters on stage, sources at the Tallahassee Community Theatre reported Friday that this is apparently the kind of musical with a big number about putting on a show.
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Infographic: 20 Years Of Netflix

Netflix was founded as an online DVD rental service in 1997 and has since evolved into a subscription-based streaming platform with its own slate of original programming. The Onion looks back at the most important moments in the company’s 20-year history.

  • 1997

    Netflix cofounder Reed Hastings decides to capitalize on the huge, untapped market for avoiding eye contact with other human beings

  • 1999

    First non-cracked DVD arrives at customer’s door

  • 2000

    Netflix introduces personalized movie recommendations after finding out that user Jane Murphy has never even seen Goodfellas

  • 2003

    After several years of unsuccessful testing, Netflix phases out its nachos-and-soda-by-mail service

  • 2005

    Widespread closures of mom-and-pop DVD rental websites as Netflix surges in popularity

  • 2007

    Netflix stock soars after Peter Witte of Bridgeport, CT, forgets to cancel his subscription after his 30-day free trial ends

  • 2009

    Netflix revolutionizes the movie watching experience with its new endless buffering feature

  • 2010

    After a long, contentious debate, Netflix’s board votes to add Maid in Manhattan to the “Romantic Comedies With A Sassy Female Lead” category

  • 2013

    Netflix becomes the first online-only network to win a primetime Emmy award after adding all 11 seasons of Cheers

  • 2017

    Netflix continues to grow in popularity, with 128 million viewers worldwide sharing 32 accounts

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Stunned Adam Schefter Receives Ominous Tip From Future Self

BRISTOL, CT—Slowly returning to his desk shaken and confused, sources reported Wednesday that ESPN NFL Insider Adam Schefter was stunned to receive an ominous tip from his future self while walking through one of his office building’s hallways.

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