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President’s American Manufacturing Council Down To CEO Of Shoe Carnival

WASHINGTON—Following a series of resignations from prominent CEOs amid the fallout from President Trump’s handling of white-nationalist violence in Charlottesville, VA, White House sources confirmed Tuesday that Trump’s American Manufacturing Council is now down to a single member, Clifton Sifford, CEO and president of Shoe Carnival.

Listen, Area Boss Gets It

PHILADELPHIA—Readily admitting that everything you’re saying makes a lot of sense, Greenwave Media accounts manager Bryan Mellis confirmed on Wednesday that he totally gets it.

Tide Debuts New Sour Apple Detergent Pods

CINCINNATI—Calling it the perfect choice for consumers looking to add some tartness to their laundry, Procter and Gamble on Tuesday unveiled a new sour apple Tide detergent pod.

Pros And Cons Of The Gig Economy

Americans are increasingly using on-demand services, both as workers and consumers. Here are the major benefits and drawbacks of the gig economy.

Frontier Airlines Tells Customers To Just Fucking Deal With It

‘You’re Uncomfortable For A Few Hours And Then You Get To Be Somewhere Else,’ Says CEO

DENVER—Noting that some discomfort should be expected while traveling to a faraway place in just a few goddamn hours, officials from ultra-low-cost carrier Frontier Airlines reportedly told customers Thursday to just fucking deal with it.
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The iPhone Turns 10

A decade ago today, Apple released the iPhone and revolutionized the way humans use technology. Here’s a look back at the evolution of the iPhone:

  • iPhone

    Ah, what fools we were, to be bewitched by such primitive features!

  • iPhone 4

    This model was the first to include FaceTime, which Steve Jobs originally developed as a way to scream at employees face-to-face without having to leave his office

  • iPhone 4S

    This is where they should have stopped

  • iPhone 5

    With a high-resolution 326 ppi screen, the iPhone 5 was by far the most disappointing to drop on the ground and shatter

  • iPhone 5S

    As soon as this model was released, every iPhone 5 began to emit a foul odor

  • iPhone Cruiser

    Older Americans loved the Cruiser’s classic 1930s-inspired styling and wood paneling

  • iPhone 6

    Customers were furious when this model was released with 19,860 pictures of Bono pre-loaded into the photo gallery

  • iPhone 6SSS

    Took them a few S’s to get this one right, but they really nailed it on the third iteration

  • iPhone 7S Plus

    Plans to release this plus-sized model were scrapped after technicians realized they’d accidentally created the Samsung QLED 55-inch TV

  • The New One

    According to everyone who has seen it, The New One is amazing and will make your phone look like crap

More from this section

Listen, Area Boss Gets It

PHILADELPHIA—Readily admitting that everything you’re saying makes a lot of sense, Greenwave Media accounts manager Bryan Mellis confirmed on Wednesday that he totally gets it.

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