Stunned Adam Schefter Receives Ominous Tip From Future Self

BRISTOL, CT—Slowly returning to his desk shaken and confused, sources reported Wednesday that ESPN NFL Insider Adam Schefter was stunned to receive an ominous tip from his future self while walking through one of his office building’s hallways.

Infographic: 20 Years Of Netflix

Netflix was founded as an online DVD rental service in 1997 and has since evolved into a subscription-based streaming platform with its own slate of original programming. The Onion looks back at the most important moments in the company’s 20-year history.

Musical The Kind With Number About Putting On A Show

TALLAHASSEE, FL—Noting the increasingly animated choreography and behavior of the characters on stage, sources at the Tallahassee Community Theatre reported Friday that this is apparently the kind of musical with a big number about putting on a show.

What To Watch For In The New Obi-Wan Kenobi Film

Disney has announced they are in the early stages of developing a stand-alone ‘Star Wars’ film focused on the adventures of Jedi master Obi-Wan Kenobi. Here’s what fans can expect to see in the upcoming release.
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The Onion’s 2017 Summer Movie Preview

With blockbuster season just around the corner, The Onion highlights the most anticipated films of the summer.

  • Wonder Woman

    This hotly anticipated film will be DC’s first to focus on Wonder Woman, a superhero whose powers include flight and forcing audiences to pay attention to female-driven action films

  • Cars 3

    In the franchise’s third installment, the gang must save Lightning McQueen when he’s recalled for failing to meet fuel efficiency standards

  • Dunkirk

    This gritty World War II epic starring Harry Styles and Tom Hardy will introduce a generation of squealing teenage girls to the abject horrors of war

  • Pirates Of The Caribbean: Dead Men Tell No Tales

    With the fifth film in the franchise, Disney hopes to finally capture the essence of its theme park ride with a plot centered around the long lines, damp seats, and penny-pressing machines of the high seas

  • An Inconvenient Sequel

    This film brings back the entire original cast despite rumors of an ugly on-set rivalry between co-stars Al Gore and Planet Earth

  • The Mummy

    In this action-adventure flick, a mysterious, long-dead franchise is unearthed and brought back to life by a group of foolhardy Universal Studios executives

  • Baywatch

    Fans of the TV series will get some much-needed closure about who is hot now

  • Alien: Covenant

    Shedding light on a population that Hollywood too often overlooks, director Ridley Scott tells the story of an everyday Xenomorph alien

  • Despicable Me 3

    Many experts predict the human species has less than 100 years left to live on this planet

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