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Revelations From Hillary Clinton’s New Memoir

‘What Happened,’ a new memoir detailing the trials and tribulations of Hillary Clinton’s 2016 campaign, was released today, with Clinton supporters and detractors already divided on its contents. Here are some of Hillary’s bombshell revelations:

Joe Arpaio’s Family Surprises Him With Detained Hispanic Motorist

FOUNTAIN HILLS, AZ—In celebration of the dismissal of his conviction for criminal contempt via presidential pardon, Joe Arpaio’s family reportedly sought to surprise the former sheriff Tuesday with a 30-year-old Mexican national whom they detained on suspicion of having entered the country illegally.
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The Pros And Cons Of A Two-Party System

  • Pro
    • Easier to grasp for populace that becomes quickly overwhelmed when presented with too many chip options at the supermarket

    • Cultivates a fundamentally American ‘us versus them’ mindset

    • Saves precious time that would have been wasted confronting multiple nuanced positions along a spectrum of political ideology

    • You’ll probably get your way every four to eight years

  • Con
    • Unfairly limits the options available to lobbyists

    • Perpetuates false notion that the U.S. government isn’t controlled by a single top-secret, monolithic political organization composed of the world’s most powerful elites

    • Stifles the creativity of political cartoonists who have so much more than elephants and donkeys to give

    • Voter turnout generally higher in single-party dictatorships

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Revelations From Hillary Clinton’s New Memoir

‘What Happened,’ a new memoir detailing the trials and tribulations of Hillary Clinton’s 2016 campaign, was released today, with Clinton supporters and detractors already divided on its contents. Here are some of Hillary’s bombshell revelations:

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