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MLB Unveils Memorial For Runners Stranded On Base

NEW YORK—Solemnly ringing a bell 30 times for each of the teams that lost potential runs this season, Major League Baseball officials unveiled Tuesday a memorial outside league headquarters to commemorate all of the runners who have ever been stranded on base.

Dale Earnhardt Jr. Submits Paperwork For Gas Reimbursement

LONG POND, PA—Hunching over the steering wheel of his idling No. 88 Chevrolet SS to closely inspect the odometer, NASCAR driver Dale Earnhardt Jr. was reportedly in the process of submitting paperwork Monday to reimburse his gas expenses for the month.

A-Rod Donates $25 Million To Be Displayed In Glass Case In Baseball Hall Of Fame

COOPERSTOWN, NY—Ensuring that a treasured piece of the game’s history will be forever preserved for future generations of fans, representatives of the National Baseball Hall of Fame confirmed Friday that retired third baseman Alex Rodriguez recently donated $25 million of his earnings to be displayed inside a glass case in their museum.
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Strongside/Weakside: Sidney Crosby

  • Strongside
    • Quite the little hockey player

    • Inducted into NHL Hall of Fame after third game

    • Unlike many star athletes, doesn’t have to worry about distraction of being recognized on the street

    • Once scored a goal that made the goalie’s Gatorade bottle fly off the top of the net

    • Is also Alexander Ovechkin

    • Uses skates to make shaved ice treats for kids in the stands

  • Weakside
    • Insists referees turn off icing before every match

    • During face-offs, opposing players often steal his stick and jersey to sell at sports memorabilia auctions

    • Despite great hands and soft touch, lost a face-off in 2003

    • Never replaces his ice divots after slapshots

    • New Reebok Sidney Crosby skates not selling as well as most would have hoped

    • As is the case with star Pittsburgh athletes, is at high risk for contracting Hodgkin’s disease or dying in a plane crash while flying supplies to disaster victims

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MLB Unveils Memorial For Runners Stranded On Base

NEW YORK—Solemnly ringing a bell 30 times for each of the teams that lost potential runs this season, Major League Baseball officials unveiled Tuesday a memorial outside league headquarters to commemorate all of the runners who have ever been stranded on base.

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