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Refs Let 49ers Put As Many Men On Field As They Want

SEATTLE—Sighing into the microphone as he stood at the 50-yard line of Centurylink Field, NFL referee Gene Steratore ruled during Sunday’s game that the San Francisco 49ers could put as many men on the field as they want.

Stunned Adam Schefter Receives Ominous Tip From Future Self

BRISTOL, CT—Slowly returning to his desk shaken and confused, sources reported Wednesday that ESPN NFL Insider Adam Schefter was stunned to receive an ominous tip from his future self while walking through one of his office building’s hallways.

‘FanSided’ Ranks All 128 NFL Teams

NEW YORK—As part of its comprehensive professional football coverage in anticipation of the upcoming season, sports news site ‘FanSided’ published an article Tuesday ranking all 128 NFL teams.
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Strongside/Weakside: Trevor Siemian

Second-year quarterback Trevor Siemian has quickly established himself as the Denver Broncos’ starter with three straight wins. Is he any good?

  • Strongside
    • Soaked up all the knowledge he could in the fleeting time he had with Brock Osweiler

    • Naturally athletic build is ideal for absorbing blunt force trauma

    • Jersey sales already rank in top 20 of the entire Broncos roster

    • Intact vertebrae quickly won him respect of teammates

    • Still has 15 years of NFL eligibility left

    • Hasn’t given public reason to hate him as a human being yet

  • Weakside
    • Seven-step drop renders him unconscious from Mile High oxygen deprivation

    • Plays with the confidence of someone with Northwestern degree to fall back on

    • Has yet to learn difference between coach Gary Kubiak’s happy scowl and angry scowl

    • Needs more time to mature into full-fledged disappointment

    • Learned kick-holder duties for nothing

    • Still enjoying little honeymoon phase before defenses get enough game tape to destroy him

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