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What To Watch For In The New Obi-Wan Kenobi Film

Disney has announced they are in the early stages of developing a stand-alone ‘Star Wars’ film focused on the adventures of Jedi master Obi-Wan Kenobi. Here’s what fans can expect to see in the upcoming release.

Man In Center Of Political Spectrum Under Impression He Less Obnoxious

MT. VERNON, OH—Loudly explaining to anyone within earshot that both the left and right were ruining the level of discourse in this country, Jesse Levin, a man firmly in the center of the political spectrum, is under the impression that he is less obnoxious than those with more partisan viewpoints, sources reported Friday.
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Superfoods: Myth Vs. Fact

Though the media often heralds certain foods as cancer-fighting or immune-building, many of these claims don’t hold up to scientific scrutiny. The Onion separates the myths from the facts regarding so-called superfoods:

Key
  • M MYTH
  • F FACT
    • M

      Kale is a delicious way to meet your body’s iron needs

    • F

      Kale is a way to meet your body’s iron needs

    • M

      Brussels sprouts contain several compounds that detoxify the body

    • F

      No naturally occurring substance stands a chance against the carcinogens consumed by the average American

    • M

      Flaxseed is loaded with plant omega-3s and may prevent some cancers

    • F

      You are unfortunately required to eat the flaxseed to reap these benefits

    • M

      Adding acai berries to your morning smoothie provides a huge antioxidant kick

    • F

      Chances are, if “your morning smoothie” is a recognizable part of your routine, everything’s going to turn out just fine in your life anyway

    • M

      Walnuts are packed with alpha-linolenic acid, which aids memory retention

    • F

      Walnuts are $10.44 per pound

    • M

      The quercetin in apples is linked to a reduction in lung cancer risk

    • F

      Apples are, in fact, too boring to qualify as a superfood

    • M

      The anti-inflammatory properties of cilantro help treat urinary tract infections

    • F

      Forty-four million people in this country lack adequate health insurance

    • M

      Leafy greens add beneficial doses of vitamins A, C, and K to every meal, as well as being loaded with folate, potassium, and calcium

    • F

      This isn’t to discount other greens, such as celery. Celery is still pretty good, okay? We all do our part. It’s not a race.


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