Report: Saxophone Still An Okay Vehicle For Self-Expression

While declaring that the musical instrument was by no means ideally suited to the task, a report released by the National Endowment for the Arts Thursday concluded that the saxophone nevertheless remains a fairly decent vehicle for expressing one’s ...

How To Start A Community Garden

A community gardening project is a good way to spur neighborhood involvement, but it requires careful planning and logistics. Here are The Onion’s tips for starting a community garden:

Tips For Writing A Research Paper

Students at every level of the education system are required to write the occasional research paper, and some might wonder where to begin. The Onion provides some tips for writing a stellar paper:
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Tips For Writing A Screenplay

  • Every great writer must start somewhere. Begin by pouring $156,000 into an undergraduate degree.

  • Your screenplay should address a central unifying question, such as “How do we as humans transcend the tragedy of loss?” or “What have those Smurfs been up to lately?”

  • Shatter the conventional expectations for female leads by developing a protagonist who is both intelligent and attractive—but who knows how to crack a joke, too.

  • Consider including at least one character named Big Jeff.

  • Anytime you use “FADE OUT” at the end of a scene, remember that the audience can’t see anything that’s happening until you fade back in.

  • Indicate clearly at the beginning of each scene how VFX will make it worth watching.

  • Take an occasional step back to review your script and double-check that a sense of artistic validation isn’t obstructing its commercial viability.

  • Once your first draft is finished, scan for spelling errors, then crack open a pack of brass fasteners.

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