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Man Knows Exactly Which Asshole Got Him Sick

SARATOGA SPRINGS, NY—Immediately realizing the genesis of the fever and sore throat that left him feeling like shit, 30-year-old local man Edward Mosley told reporters Tuesday that he knows exactly which asshole got him sick.

How Gerrymandering Works

The Supreme Court is considering a case regarding the partisan gerrymandering of districts in Wisconsin, which could change the way maps are drawn across the country. Here is a step-by-step guide to how Gerrymandering works.
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Top Benefits Of Going Paperless

  • Far fewer moments where you must say the word “ream”

  • Can use money allocated for printing expenses to purchase more brisket

  • No longer haunted by the angry ghosts of all the trees you’ve slaughtered

  • Paper correspondence will start to be associated with special occasions, such as wedding invitations or subpoenas

  • Rifling through trash can now be enjoyed as a purely recreational activity

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