What To Watch For In The New Obi-Wan Kenobi Film

Disney has announced they are in the early stages of developing a stand-alone ‘Star Wars’ film focused on the adventures of Jedi master Obi-Wan Kenobi. Here’s what fans can expect to see in the upcoming release.

The Onion’s Fall TV Preview

Networks are just weeks away from debuting their Fall lineups, featuring both new shows and returning favorites. The Onion breaks down what to watch this Fall.

Most Anticipated Panels At Comic-Con

San Diego Comic-Con kicks off tomorrow, and this year’s schedule is packed with must-see events. Here are the most highly-anticipated panels of Comic-Con 2017.
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What To Expect From A Live-Action ‘Beauty And The Beast’

Disney unveiled the trailer for its live-action adaptation of its 1991 film Beauty And The Beast, which comes out in March 2017. Here’s what viewers have to look forward to:

  • Filmmakers to further explore candlestick’s insatiable passion for feather duster

  • Emma Watson puts her theatrical range to the test by portraying a lovely girl who reads a lot

  • While all characters will now be portrayed by humans, vocals will all still be performed by cartoons

  • Footrest walking around like a dog in full, horrific 3D

  • Fully reimagined Beast character rewritten from misunderstood loner into sullen anti-hero

  • Inclusion of brand-new song by Alan Menken and Tim Rice called “Hey Hey, I’m The Beast”

  • Approximately 90 minutes of entertainment

  • State-of-the-art CGI to render Gaston’s biceps even more sculpted

  • At least three more of these things if it nabs over $400 million domestically

  • Moral of story still roughly that ugly people do not deserve love

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