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What You Need To Know About Last Night’s Oscars Debacle

Many viewers were left wondering about the sequence of events that led to the initial erroneous declaration of ‘La La Land’ as the Best Picture winner at the Academy Awards Sunday instead of the real winner, ‘Moonlight’. The Onion breaks down what you need to know about this fiasco.

Brad Pitt Sidelined 6 To 8 Weeks With Red Carpet Toe

LOS ANGELES—Saying doctors strongly recommended that he stay off the injured foot, representatives for Brad Pitt confirmed to reporters Sunday that the actor was sidelined six to eight weeks with a case of red carpet toe.

The Onion’s 2017 Oscar Picks

The 89th Academy Awards features a more diverse slate of film and actor nominees than in past years, though the ceremony could still field #OscarsSoWhite criticism. Here are The Onion’s picks for who should take home the coveted Oscar statuettes:
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What To Expect From A Live-Action ‘Beauty And The Beast’

Disney unveiled the trailer for its live-action adaptation of its 1991 film Beauty And The Beast, which comes out in March 2017. Here’s what viewers have to look forward to:

  • Filmmakers to further explore candlestick’s insatiable passion for feather duster

  • Emma Watson puts her theatrical range to the test by portraying a lovely girl who reads a lot

  • While all characters will now be portrayed by humans, vocals will all still be performed by cartoons

  • Footrest walking around like a dog in full, horrific 3D

  • Fully reimagined Beast character rewritten from misunderstood loner into sullen anti-hero

  • Inclusion of brand-new song by Alan Menken and Tim Rice called “Hey Hey, I’m The Beast”

  • Approximately 90 minutes of entertainment

  • State-of-the-art CGI to render Gaston’s biceps even more sculpted

  • At least three more of these things if it nabs over $400 million domestically

  • Moral of story still roughly that ugly people do not deserve love

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What You Need To Know About Last Night’s Oscars Debacle

Many viewers were left wondering about the sequence of events that led to the initial erroneous declaration of ‘La La Land’ as the Best Picture winner at the Academy Awards Sunday instead of the real winner, ‘Moonlight’. The Onion breaks down what you need to know about this fiasco.

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