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How Movies Receive Their Ratings

Many Americans use the MPAA’s formalized rating system as a guide for which films to see. The Onion provides a step-by-step view into how these ratings are chosen:
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‘Winnie-The-Pooh’ Turns 90

Winnie-The-Pooh, the A.A. Milne series featuring a stuffed bear and his toy animal friends, debuted 90 years ago this week. Here are some milestones from the franchise’s nearly century-long run:

  • 1926

    Noted English author A.A. Milne plagiarizes beloved British children’s book Winston The Proper Plaything For Young Lads

  • 1926-2016

    Eeyore, the introspective donkey, quickly becomes a favorite among readers who are sad pieces of shit that everybody hates

  • 1928

    Critics blast sequel The House At Pooh Corner as a derivative retread that fails to develop Owl and Roo

  • 1956

    Milne passes away before having a chance to witness the full extent of his characters’ commercialized mutation

  • 1961

    Acquisition by Walt Disney Productions the only reason you’ve heard of any of this at all

  • 1985

    Last heffalump dies in captivity

  • 1995

    Parent advocacy groups demand at least one heterosexual character be added to Winnie-the-Pooh’s circle of friends

  • 2003

    Piglet’s Big Movie, despite grossing $63 million worldwide, somehow not remotely the most successful movie to star a pig

  • 2004-2011

    Franchise kept alive exclusively through Aunt Lisa’s sweatshirt collection

  • 2026

    Many children continue to dislike reading

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