Issue 2906

Evolution to Occur Thursday

Beginning February 22, Human Arms Will Be Slightly Shorter

News ISSUE 29•06 Feb 20, 1996
PALO ALTO, CA—In a surprising announcement, scientists at Stanford University revealed yesterday that beginning this Thursday, human arms will become four to six inches ...

Local Harlot Exposes Face, Neck

‘Nothing was left to the imagination,’ says Damascus-area shopkeeper

News ISSUE 29•06 Feb 20, 1996
An area harlot exposed her face and neck to the naked eyes of several area men yesterday, stirring deep within them filthy and sinful desires.