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Issue 2910

World's Longest Wall Completed

‘No one has ever built a wall this great,’ mayor says

PEMBROKE, IL—The Bernstein-Grey construction company announced the completion of the world’s longest wall yesterday, putting the final touches on the single greatest feat in U.S.

Clinton Blown Away

by Delicious Flavor of Trident Gum

WASHINGTON, D.C. (AP)— Pres-ident Clinton is recovering today after being “shot dead” by the flavor of Trident Sugarless Spearmint Gum late Monday night.
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Just Like Everything Else!: Fox 8 p.m. EDT/7 p.m. ABC Pete's wife is still on him about building that darn shed, these kids are going to be the death of Sheila and Dave, and the hot next-door neighbor is up in EVERYBODY'S business! Sunday nights on ABC couldn't be any more familiar!

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