King of Pop Celebrates 30 Years of Bat-shit Insane Life with HBO Special

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Issue 2910

World's Longest Wall Completed

‘No one has ever built a wall this great,’ mayor says

PEMBROKE, IL—The Bernstein-Grey construction company announced the completion of the world’s longest wall yesterday, putting the final touches on the single greatest feat in U.S.

Clinton Blown Away

by Delicious Flavor of Trident Gum

WASHINGTON, D.C. (AP)— Pres-ident Clinton is recovering today after being “shot dead” by the flavor of Trident Sugarless Spearmint Gum late Monday night.
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