Issue 2914

Umabomber Captured

FBI Ends 18-Year Search for Leggy Luddite Lolita

News ISSUE 29•14 Apr 16, 1996
In a spectacular climax to the longest manhunt ever mounted by the FBI, federal agents captured the notorious, glamorous Umabomber yesterday.

Your Real Horoscope

Horoscope ISSUE 29•14 Apr 16, 1996
By RuWyner-Io A.A.P.B. Certified Astrologer, u
Aries: (Mar. 21–Apr. 19) You’ll meet a handsome stranger at a wild party and make mad passionate love.