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IRA, Hamas Sweep 1990 Bombie Awards

Top Headlines

Issue 2916

Ask A Navy SEAL

Dear Navy SEAL,My boyfriend, who I love very much, was laid off from his job a few weeks back.

Deforestation Complete

Global deforestation, the environmental disaster forewarned by eco-radicals since as far back as 1980, has finally and irreversibly arrived, spokespersons from Worldwide PulpCo announced Monday.

Dog People, Cat People

An Onion Play In Two Acts

CASTSTEVE, a lean, handsome man in his early 30s who works as a loan officer.MELANIE, a petite, cute woman in her late 20s who works as a bank teller.PETER, the president of Consolidated ...

Uptight Matron Enjoys Handful of Pills

SCOTSDALE, AZ—Georgette McHue, a Scotsdale-area uptight matron, enjoyed a handful of colorful pills yesterday, swallowing them down after dinner with a glass of water.
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TV Listings
Just Like Everything Else!: Fox 8 p.m. EDT/7 p.m. ABC Pete's wife is still on him about building that darn shed, these kids are going to be the death of Sheila and Dave, and the hot next-door neighbor is up in EVERYBODY'S business! Sunday nights on ABC couldn't be any more familiar!

Special Coverage

Nightlife

Ugh, This A Place Where Bartenders Wear Bow Tie

PITTSBURGH—Saying they should have known from the moment they walked in the unmarked speakeasy entrance and spotted the extensive wood paneling, customers confirmed Friday that, ugh, this is one of those places where the bartenders all wear bow ties.

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