In what has been called the largest gastrointestinal rescue effort in history, the United Nations allocated $1.2 billion in antacid relief yesterday for the ...

WASHINGTON, DC—In a reversal of more than 15 years of Presidential Walkman policy, Bill Clinton announced Monday he is banning all personal portable stereo ...

METROPOLIS—In a transformation that has baffled nuclear physicists and gynecologists alike, an area woman recently gained superhuman powers through an accidental radioactive yeast infection.

CHAPEL HILL, NC—Promising local band Spacegoat suffered a major setback on its path to fame yesterday, when its 1982 Dodge van broke down en ...

HUNTINGTON BEACH, CA—A swimsuit skirt successfully concealed more than six inches of upper thigh Monday, sparing hundreds of beachgoers from the sight of the ...

QUANTICO, VA—According to a recently published report, Navy Admiral John A. Weinhardt, 57, thinks he is "Mr. Important," or something. "Oooooooh... Aren't we ...

ATLANTA—The U.S. men's basketball "Dream Team" took home a small soft drink from McDonald's yesterday, making its players big winners and ...

ST. LOUIS—At the strong urging of his wife Rhonda, Lester Jackson got his sorry ass home last night, narrowly avoiding an explosive domestic confrontation ...

PORTO-NOVO, BENIN—According to inside sources in the capital city of Porto-Novo, the nation of Benin is not currently torn by war. In addition to ...

In-line skates have all of America on the go. What are the reasons for their incredible popularity?

Avoid the trap of becoming known to your coworkers as the one who tattles to the boss. Instead, become known as the one with the ...

You were a mistake, you know. I never planned to have you, and now I'm stuck with you.

BEIJING, CHINA—After two weeks of remarkable success against the world's finest athletes, the Chinese National Olympic Team was carefully disassembled and put back ...

Last month's mysterious crash of TWA Flight 800 near Long Island, which came on the heels of several other major air tragedies, has sparked ...