In a real-life fight for survival last week, area resident Jerry Svoboda was forced to prepare his own meals rather than succumb to the threat ...

WASHINGTON, DC—The U.S. Department of Education released the results of an exhaustive three-year study of American secondary schools Monday, announcing that seniors rule.

SPRINGFIELD, IL—With drunk driving fatalities in Illinois nearly tripling in the past year, the state's Department of Motor Vehicles announced Monday it will ...

From their hidden sanctuary high atop Mount Dew, the Mountain Dew Council Of Elders formally passed judgment on area teen Brian Ruderman yesterday, unanimously ruling ...

ERIE, PA—There was nothing left below the knees of three party-goers yesterday, as 85,000 gallons of combustible fuel oil gushed through the living ...

A U.S. Geographic Survey expeditionary force announced yesterday that it has discovered an unexplored and heretofore unknown land region between the New York and ...

ROCHESTER, NY—According to sources, an idea thought of Monday has been reported to be so crazy and ill-conceived that it may actually wind up ...

MOSCOW—In an effort to quell the many rumors circulating regarding the Russian president's physical condition, Kremlin officials reassured the public yesterday that Boris ...

SCHAUMBURG, IL—After a nearly hour-long search, which included visits to some five stationery stores, local resident Doris Kessler finally found the perfect birthday card ...

LOS ANGELES—According to word out of Hollywood, former CHIPs star and '70s sex symbol Erik Estrada is reportedly big in Mexico. "Yeah, Erik Estrada ...

WASHINGTON, DC—Dissatisfied with their current range of choices, American consumers banded together Sunday to demand a wider selection of merchandise from the nation's ...

The price of a college education is higher than ever, as tuition costs continue to rise. How are America's universities spending all this extra ...

It’s been a rough week for everyone at your workplace. Try to lighten everyone’s burden a little with a friendly exchange of hostages.

Hug me! I am so cute and furry. I will crawl all over you and lick your face. You can hold me, and I will ...

With studies indicating that its use is greatly on the rise, heroin has been the focus of much attention lately, featured prominently in the film ...