Rousing shouts of "Prosit!" and boot-shaped vials frothing over with hearty, dark German-style crack are the order of the day at Hans von Kreutzen's ...

CHARLOTTESVILLE, VA—The McDonald's Corporation, ever dedicated to providing inexpensive, tasty and convenient food to as much of the world as possible, will be ...

The elite Bushcrest Country Club was turned upside-down yesterday, as a throng of unkempt, drunken slobs descended upon the normally reserved social institution, terrorizing its ...

KEY WEST, FL—With a banana daiquiri in one hand and a jaw-dropping blonde in the other, Republican vice-presidential candidiate Jack Kemp yesterday unveiled his ...

FALMOUTH, MA—Kevin Lassally, who likes to hold and kiss men, rescued a family of four from a deadly blaze.

COLUMBUS, OH—According to a local television announcer, at 11:30 p.m. this Sunday on WPZH channel 27, Chuck Norris will fight for everyone ...

AUSTIN, TX—Scandal rocked the University of Texas Monday, when it was learned that Bin Lu, a 28-year-old physics teaching assistant, was not born in ...

EARTH—In a move astronomers are calling "surprising," the planet earth violently exploded yesterday, shattering into billions of tiny fragments and killing all life existing ...

WASHINGTON, DC—In what was called "a great day" by the nation's educators, a cash-strapped Defense Department held a bake sale in the Pentagon ...

FLAGSTAFF, AZ—After more than three days of hiking, canoeing and other outdoor activities, a naturist/nudist outing concluded yesterday with a large boner. "By ...

TERRE HAUTE, IN—Dissatisfied with his current levels of intake, Leonard Bierski, a 44-year-old Terre Haute-area plumber, publicly demanded a "serious increase" in his already ...

Be prepared for financial gain when every member of your armored car robbery team is nerve-gassed— except you!

That Hindenburg Announcer Guy is a nationally syndicated columnist whose weekly column, Ask That Hindenburg Announcer Guy, appears in more than 350 newspapers nationwide.

Last week, Congress passed the Defense of Marriage Act, which permits states not to recognize the legality of gay marriages performed in other states, and ...