MENASHA, WI—Local resident Stan Blaskowitz, a self-described "sports fanatic," was crushed and killed Sunday, when his seven-foot, 900-pound home entertainment center fell on him ...

WASHINGTON, DC—In a move calculated to reduce significantly the number of catastrophic midair explosions aboard U.S. airliners, the FAA announced Monday that longer ...

WASHINGTON, DC—Chad Halpern, U.S. Ambassador to the West African nation of Bulungi since 1994, has been asked to return to Washington to face ...

TILDEN, OH—A article just published in the October issue of Cat Fancy magazine blasts local kitten Mr. Paws, calling him "far from purr-fect" and ...

DUBLIN—A green-and-white soap, designed with the filthy Irish in mind, will all but eliminate their abominable stench.

OAKLAND, CA—It was recently learned that local moviegoer Jane Pressler, who went to see a showing of The First Wives Club at Oakland's ...

CLEVELAND—According to reports, a local cockroach discovered in a downtown apartment Monday is fucking huge. "Jesus Christ," said tenant Jeff Reiner, invoking the noted ...

NABLUS, WEST BANK—Riots broke out in the streets of Nablus at 3 p.m. Monday, shattering a Middle East peace that had lasted for ...

SHELBY, OH—An area muppet is being held for questioning regarding its role in an illegal underground chicken sex ring. The unnamed muppet, described as ...

NEW YORK—In a bold, unconventional attempt to target America's elusive youth demographic, the advertising firm of Saatchi & Saatchi will utilize an off-set, mixed-typography ...

The fall TV season is here, and some hotly anticipated new shows are finally hitting the airwaves. Which ones are we watching the most?

Your continuing hair loss leaves you with what some may call a bald spot. Only you will know that it is in truth a solar ...

Russian President Boris Yeltsin's questionable physical condition has been the subject of much discussion lately, reaching a fever pitch with last week's announcement ...