For the first time since the end of the Cold War, the specter of nuclear armageddon looms over the world, as the Pentagon announced yesterday ...

ATLANTA—The Coca-Cola Corporation held a press conference yesterday to announce that its soft drinks will soon be available exclusively in 30-liter plastic bottles. According ...

FAIRFIELD, CA—A group of seniors took a brisk walk to tell a gang to stop terrorizing their neighborhood, and were promptly killed.

PALO ALTO, CA—Scientists insist the collider is important to study of the universe, as no one knows for certain what happens when monkeys collide.

WINSTON, NC—The Tobacco Institute proved conclusively that an average-looking nobody becomes a really cool guy, simply by sitting near a smoker.

LOS ANGELES—Aging pop stars Elton John and Billy Joel will combine into one artist, tentatively named "Billy John," record industry executives announced Monday. The ...

MIAMI—A family of four, rescued Monday after floating in the Gulf of Mexico for nearly two weeks, credited its salvation to the father's ...

JOPLIN, MO—An area man's aggression toward the Longhorn State was curbed Sunday after he read a bumper sticker that warned, "Don't Mess ...

WASHINGTON, D.C.—Newly uncovered documents at the National Archives reveal that Theodore Roosevelt was not only a burly outdoorsman, but also a gay man ...

FELK, WY—Carpenters worldwide are celebrating Sunday's discovery of a fourth tool: the screwdriver. Until Monday, laborers had but three tools at their disposal ...

FELK, WY—Carpenters worldwide are celebrating Monday's discovery of a fifth tool: the wrench.

In the past ten years, the scientific world has enjoyed a tremendous surge in astonomical discovery. What have they learned?

I gotta tell you, if that damn mutt takes another leak on the couch, I'm gonna kill the thing with my bare hands!

Go ahead, call me old-fashioned! I don't care if you brazen teenage hoodlums mock me! Maybe my views are not "in," "happening" or "out ...

What is your favorite number?