DETROIT—Paralysis and violent decapitations contributed to the recall of all automobiles containing neckbelts.

WASHINGTON, DC—In an effort to make America's natural wonders available to all citizens, the Department of the Interior announced Monday the creation of ...

WASHINGTON, DC—In what Washington insiders are calling "one of the most impressive displays of congressional virility in U.S. history," seven people were trampled ...

WASHINGTON, DC—In a move designed to make the United States seem more "bad-assed and scary in a quasi-heavy-metal manner," Congress officially changed the nation ...

EARTH—For the 50 billionth consecutive week since its inception, life was revealed to be unfair Monday. Death and suffering continued to be dispersed randomly ...

OAK PARK, IL—The McDonald's Corporation took a giant step toward conquering the problem of world hunger Monday, unveiling its new McTriple Decker Cheeseburger ...

LOS ANGELES—In an Ellen-like ploy for higher ratings, the producers of A&E's Biography have chosen to reveal the homosexuality of host ...

WASHINGTON, DC—Drug Enforcement Administration officials announced Monday the largest-ever drug bribe received by the agency. The $280 million bribe, which was airdropped over DEA ...

Why are kids across America going crazy for Beanie Babies?

You will begin the week feeling tired and "run down," but a delicious glass of grade-A milk will soon set you right as rain.

AUGUSTA, GA—Augusta National, home of the Masters Tournament, honored 1997 Masters champion Tiger Woods Monday, giving him his own drinking fountain at the prestigious ...

These days, looking good is a must. Here are a few tips from the experts to help keep you in style:

In response to escalating divorce rates, some federal legislators are pushing for a law that would require all engaged couples to meet with a counselor ...