DUBLIN, IRELAND—After centuries of suffering, the people of the world will finally have some much-needed relief from the offending filth of the ubiquitous Irish ...

WASHINGTON, DC—In an effort to streamline degradation of the American populace and consolidate all forms of bureaucratic hassle into one convenient mailing, federal officials ...

BRONX, NY—After months of public anticipation, the Bronx Zoo finally opened its new loitering-teens exhibit Saturday.

BOSTON—Terminally ill 5-year-old Timmy McWinn had one wish before his tragic death last week: to be visited one last time by Bruiser, the McWinns ...

BALTIMORE—On Monday, scientists at Johns Hopkins University isolated the gene which causes homosexuality in human males and promptly segregated it from normal, heterosexual genes ...

HOUSTON—Dozens of wrongful arrests were brought to light Saturday, as longtime Houston Police Department sketch artist Daniel Lampert confessed that for years he had ...

HOLLYWOOD, CA—In an inspired act of film soundtracking, Paramount Pictures announced Tuesday that its forthcoming family comedy Twerps will feature the rock song "Bad ...

FLUSHING, NY—In a surprise announcement, local cab driver Kevin Reilly, 33, confirmed Monday that he likes food. "I enjoy meats, dairy products, grains, fruits ...

DUNEDIN, FL—In the wake of his capture Monday, serial killer Eddie Lee Curtis is being recalled by neighbors as a serial killer. "He was ...

What are Americans' favorite mail-order catalogs?

In the spring of your youth you were one who ran often to the many women of Paris, but now the good wine and the ...

Digital television is being touted as the next big big breakthrough in home-entertainment technology, offering viewers hundreds of channels without a satellite dish. What do ...