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WASHINGTON, DC—The bottom of the collective national barrel, already badly strained from massive content depletion in recent years, is now in "severe danger" as ...

CITRUS HEIGHTS, CA—Joshua Colquitt, a Citrus Heights-area 5-year-old, was diagnosed Monday with inoperable cancer of the tummy.

BIRMINGHAM, AL—For nearly 150 years, the Ku Klux Klan has been steadfast in its commitment to the ideals of its founders. These traditional values ...

BELFAST, NORTHERN IRELAND—The Irish Republican Army announced Monday that it will embark on its most aggressive campaign of violence ever if McDonald's Shamrock ...

CHARLESTON, SC—John and Linda McCue, joined in holy matrimony Sunday before friends, family and their Lord at Holy Christ Almighty Lutheran Church, said the ...

DEARBORN, MI—The power of Extra-Strength Excedrin© was not needed Monday, when laid-off marketing executive Phillip Garden suffered a splitting headache for which he had ...

PRINCETON, NJ—A study released Monday by Princeton University found that 20 percent of all Americans are currently waiting for the next available representative. "At ...

WASHINGTON, DC—In another high-profile inning, Republican leaders praised homosexual Rep. Tom Priegle (R-AL) as "a dedicated husband and father who's fighting for old-fashioned ...

CHILDWICK GREEN, ENGLAND—Mourners at Stanley Kubrick's funeral expressed confusion Friday over the baffling, non-narrative final minutes of the director's life. "I really ...

IRVINE, CA—Citing "insufficient looks," Charles Hausner, 31, threw Amy Glass out of his bed Monday after catching the 27-year-old consuming Saltines. According to Hausner ...

PEORIA, IL—The EPA issued a warning Monday to the greater Peoria area regarding the "dangerously delicious" ham being prepared by Cora Daly of Riverside ...

With supply plentiful, gasoline prices are currently at their lowest point in 20 years. How are U.S. consumers dealing with the surfeit of cheap ...

Stop blaming your problems on the people in your life. Blame various government agencies instead.

I just got back from a semester abroad in Europe, and let me tell you, it truly was the most magical, amazing experience of my ...

Last week, it was reported that eBay.com, the popular, minimally monitored Internet auction house, is being investigated by the federal government for "possible illegal ...