NEW YORK—New York City police commissioner Howard Safir issued a formal apology Monday for the accidental shooting-clubbing- stabbing-firebombing- choking-impaling- electrocution-lethal-injection death of a 38-year-old ...
WASHINGTON, DC—Overwhelmed by a dearth of funds and a glut of recipients, the Social Security Administration unveiled a new "Early-Death Incentives Plan" Monday. Under ...
Amid escalating war in the Balkans, tragedy in Colorado and rising global economic instability, the nation voiced its broadbased approval of a pair of enormous ...
LABREA, CA—Parallel-reality sources say Hetfield has been praised for promptness, courteousness, and professionalism.
HUNTINGTON BEACH, CA—Area resident Doug Spengler was taken aback Friday when acquaintance and fellow partygoer Dianne Liston casually mentioned to him that she was ...
TACOMA, WA—An article in the latest issue of the journal Nature revealed that the fabled "Giant Mouse Of Tacoma" is actually a baby kangaroo ...
WASHINGTON, DC—Fed up after years of criticism, Federal Reserve Chairman Alan Greenspan is now just parroting the words of detractors in a high-pitched girly ...
BOSTON—According to a Northeastern University study released Monday, eggs—discovered last week by a University of California-Santa Cruz study to be unhealthy, raising serum ...
DAYTON, OH—Sources reported Monday that Keith Kuenn, a 34-year-old Dayton film buff, is wondering what former New Yorker movie critic Pauline Kael would say ...
This past weekend, dignitaries from around the world gathered in Washington, D.C. to celebrate the 50th anniversary of NATO's founding. What were some ...
You will discover an unfortunate downside to eating too many of those scrumptious, non-fat sleeping pills.
Tax season was recently upon us once again, and with it came widespread calls for reform, including simpler forms and a more streamlined filing process ...
