Assistant Manager Corrupted By Power

Top Headlines

Issue 3519

Painful Boil Still Too Unformed To Lance

BILLINGS, MT—A throbbing boil on the neck of Art Krenchicki is not quite ready for lancing, the 47-year-old Billings man reported Monday. "Just a couple more days, and it'll be all set," said Krenchicki, studying the inflamed, pus-filled swelling. "You can't lance them too soon, or they take even longer to heal."

Area Woman Has Already Figured Out Who Killed The Vicar

GREENSBORO, NC—Only three chapters into the Barbara Nelson Scott mystery thriller All Saints' Day, reader Mary Toback has already deduced the killer of Father Blaine, the Vicar of St. Mary's of Glasgow, it was reported Tuesday. "The angle of the stabs was consistent with a left-handed assailant," Toback told reporters. "And if you note the description of Bishop Argyll's desk on page 22, his quills are kept to the left of the writing tablet as he faces the desk." Toback did not need to remind reporters that Argyll stands to benefit more than anyone from the appointment of MacGregor as the new Vicar.

Local Man Puts Rehab Behind Him

SAN FRANCISCO—After a harrowing three-year battle with drug-addiction recovery, area resident Scott Fedorisko finally put rehab behind him Monday. "It's been a long and hellish road, but I'm happy to say that, once again, I'm off the life and high on drugs," said Fedorisko, tapping a heroin-filled syringe. "At last, I have put my dark days of recovery behind me and can now look forward to many years of substance-dependent bliss."

Dean Cain Fanpage Last Updated 8/14/96

MONROE, MI—The Monroe-based "I Love Dean Cain" website, dedicated to providing up-to-the-minute information on actor Dean Cain, was last updated in August 1996, sources reported Monday. "Keep this page bookmarked and come back soon for the very latest Dean Cain news!" the page urged visitors. "Coming next week: A very special preview of the Lois & Clark season premiere!!!!" Due to the lack of updating, it is not known whether Cain's favorite film is still The Princess Bride. The current status of his three dogs—Jay, Bosco and Mocha—is also undetermined.

Milosevic Dreams He's Slaughtering Ethnic Albanians In His Underwear

BELGRADE, YUGOSLAVIA—In an incident he described as "really freaky," Serbian president Slobodan Milosevic dreamed he was ordering the slaughter of tens of thousands of Kosovars while clad only in his underwear Tuesday. "Everything in the dream was totally normal, except, for some reason, I wasn't wearing any clothes," Milosevic said. "At one point, I was trying to think of a way to excuse myself to go home and get dressed, but I had to stay and order the mass execution of 2,400 villagers in the border town of Podujevo." Last Friday, Milosevic dreamed he was taking an exam with U.S. envoy Richard Holbrooke on a mound of bodies near the Macedonian border.

Booked Solid

I'm such an expert at procrastination, I finally got around to making my 1999 New Year's Resolution last week! But once you hear it, you'll forgive me, because this resolution is a real doozy!

Gore Excited After Seeing Self On TV

WASHINGTON, DC—Hours after seeing himself at the funeral of King Gustaf III of Denmark on ABC World News Tonight, an excited Al Gore called friends and family Monday to ask if they saw the televised report. "Did you see me on the news?" the vice-president asked friend Jonathan Gantner. "Peter Jennings was talking about the funeral, and then they showed Albright, and, for like five seconds, you could see me standing behind her. It was so awesome." Gore is reportedly asking around to see if anyone taped the program.

Too Many Plutocrats

I am tired of complicated things happening in my life. It means I am obliged to explain them in the next week's Message, and that I must not forget them as any decent man in the final stages of advanced senility would.

Star Wars Mania

The top-grossing movie series in history, the Star Wars saga continues this week with the long-awaited release of Episode I--The Phantom Menace. What are the reasons for the films' enormous, enduring appeal?

I Wish I Were Pretty

All my friends tell me I've got a lot going for me. And I guess, deep down, I know they're right. After all, I'm smart, talented and extremely personable, not to mention the U.S. Secretary of Health and Human Services. I've accomplished a lot. But sometimes I can't help but feel like I'd trade it all just to be pretty.

New Television Show In The Works

BURBANK, CA—A possible new television program is "in the works," with preliminary meetings regarding a potential development deal with UPN "a definite possibility," sources at the extreme periphery of the U.S. entertainment industry confirmed Monday.
End Of Section
  • More News
TV Listings
Just Like Everything Else!: Fox 8 p.m. EDT/7 p.m. ABC Pete's wife is still on him about building that darn shed, these kids are going to be the death of Sheila and Dave, and the hot next-door neighbor is up in EVERYBODY'S business! Sunday nights on ABC couldn't be any more familiar!

Special Coverage



Assistant Manager Corrupted By Power

OVERLAND PARK, KS—Andrew Scelsa, promoted March 18 to assistant manager at the Sluman Road Denny's in Overland Park, is steadily becoming corrupted by his newfound power, sources within the family-style restaurant reported Monday.

Newly promoted Denny's assistant manager Andrew Scelsa.

"Andy used to be a pretty laid-back guy," said prep cook Julian Podriewski, who was recently reprimanded by Scelsa for wearing light-colored slacks to work. "Back when we were both cooking on the line together, I really liked him. He didn't care if the frying medium wasn't changed every shift, or if someone punched out a couple minutes early. But there's something about that gold sticker on his name tag that went straight to his head."

Scelsa, 31, regarded as a rising star in the Denny's organization, ascended to the assistant-manager position after a six-month stint as kitchen-shift supervisor. When then-assistant-manager Len Woodall announced he was leaving to pursue an opportunity with the Greendale Mall Applebee's, Scelsa was named his successor, a move the rest of the restaurant's staff cheered at the time.

"Everyone was happy when Andy got promoted," hostess Elaine Busse said. "He was one of us. Plus, we thought it would be nice to have an easy-going guy in charge for once. But right from the start, there were warning signs that the position would change him."

On March 22, the first Monday of Scelsa's assistant-managership, Denny's servers and kitchen staff arrived at work to find a note reminding them that "employees are to park their cars in the spaces furthest from the restaurant. The spaces in front are for our valued customers. Thank you for your anticipated compliance." The note was signed, "Andrew J. Scelsa, Assistant Restaurant Manager."

"I had to ask someone who Andrew J. Scelsa was," server Brett Ryback said. "I didn't know Andy's last name, and he never called himself Andrew. I figured it was some kind of joke."

During the ensuing months, Scelsa's promotion-induced authoritarian ways only grew. On April 11, he changed the restauraunt's longtime kitchen-radio-volume policy, announcing that the boombox above the dish machine may be played no louder than "3," rather than the usual "5." On April 26, he informed employees that the walk-in cooler is to be cleaned on a weekly basis, not every other week. And last Friday, he "made an example" of "certain inattentive members of the waitstaff" by waiting on customers himself and then putting the tip money in the Kids Against Kancer box by the register.

"The job has just gone to his head," server Marjorie Ennis said.

"Lately, he's had this weird thing about having all the take-home containers pre-folded," Ennis added. "On Tuesday, I spent, like, an hour and a half folding them, and I'm supposed to do it again next Tuesday. I honestly don't know what his deal is."

Also disturbing, according to those who remember the "old Andy," is his increasing concern with employees' off-the-clock habits.

"Way back when, Andy would punch out at midnight and run to the bars with us to pound a few beers before last call," prep cook Pat Cellini said. "But these days, if he overhears me talking about going out, he gets all like, 'Doesn't a certain person have to work a 7:30 breakfast shift tomorrow?'"

"A position of responsibility like this really makes you take stock of your life," said Scelsa, straightening the 'Employees Must Wash Hands' sign in the men's bathroom. "You suddenly realize that you're not only responsible for yourself, but for everyone else you work with and, ultimately, the Denny's Corporation itself. It was time I stopped being such a jerk and started doing things right."