WASHINGTON, DC–President Clinton announced Monday that he has invited his tow-headed 8-year-old cousin Oliver to live with him at the White House during the ...

LIVONIA, MI–Following a discussion of the Detroit Lions with a potential customer Monday, Kwik-Kool Heating & Air Conditioning sales representative Kevin Resnick mentioned that he ...

BELVIDERE, IL—According to local residents, there's been a lot less killing since old Dale Stemke passed on.

DAMASCUS, SYRIA–With the world breathing a collective sigh of relief following the violence-free passage into the year 2000, an international coalition of terrorists issued ...

DULLES, VA–In the largest merger of imaginary assets in corporate history, Internet giant America Online last week acquired media megacorp Time-Warner for an unprecedented ...

ALBUQUERQUE, NM–According to area resident Howard Braddock, 44, the goddamn ficus plant in the sun room ought to come with some basic fucking instructions ...

WENATCHEE, WA–A TV commercial for Lysol Bathroom Disinfectant Spray sent OCD sufferer Janine Whittaker plunging even deeper into the disorder Monday. "Germs... germs everywhere ...

DETROIT–Kristin Hammond, figure-skating bronze medalist at the 1998 Nagano Winter Olympics, will once again dazzle skating fans in Flintstones On Ice, playing at Detroit ...

The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention are reporting a record outbreak of illness as the flu sweeps the country. What are the effects of ...

Looking back, you can't figure out how a win/win situation turned into a win/be savaged by wild boars situation.

In a recent Sports Illustrated article, Atlanta Braves relief pitcher John Rocker called a Latin-American teammate "a fat monkey," insulted Asians and single mothers, and ...