CHAPEL HILL, NC–Area resident Jonathan Green does not own a television, a fact he repeatedly points out to friends, family, and coworkers–as well ...

GARLAND, TX—Derek Giels acted in full accordance with stupid company policy and submitted his eighth goddamn damaged-materials form.

AIKEN, SC–Following a speech Monday at the Rotary Club of Aiken, two-time Republican presidential candidate Alan Keyes admitted that he "just enjoy[s] campaigning ...

BOCA RATON, FL–In an encouraging report issued Monday by Grandpa, Grandma is still swallowing okay. "Yes, Grandma is getting her food down fine," Grandpa ...

SCOTTSDALE, AZ–Dental hygienist Bernadette Gable was angered Tuesday by patient Richard Tepfer's failure to floss regularly. "Just look at all this plaque build-up ...

BURBANK, CA–The Burbank Police Department is on the trail of an unnamed NBC executive believed to be responsible for a string of random Later ...

PORT HUENEME, CA–Ronald DeGaetano, sole survivor of the Jan. 31 Alaska Airlines crash that claimed 88 lives, has had the 1982 Asia song "Sole ...

ST. CHARLES, MO–According to area secretary Iris Sheehan, co-worker Ellen Higgins' compliment of her new hairstyle was suspiciously vague. "I asked Ellen how she ...

Oxygen, an Oprah Winfrey-led media venture geared toward women, recently launched a new cable-TV network. What are some of the programs airing on the channel?

You find yourself shunned by friends when you join a tiny group that believes in such strange, unseen forces as "gravity" and "electromagnetism."

CHARLESTON, SC–Washington Redskins defensive end D'Aundré Banks gave "all thanks and praise to my personal Lord and Savior Jesus Christ" Monday for giving ...

The Treasury Department recently issued a new $1 Sacajawea coin, which is only available at banks and Wal-Mart. What do you think about the government ...