WASHINGTON, DC–At a press conference Monday, Gore-camp spokespersons staunchly denied charges of sneaking into the Bush camp, stealing a canoe, and stranding it high ...

MUSKEGON, MI–Despite the urgings of friends and coworkers, Eileen MacKay and Doug Traschel refuse to lower their standards enough to date each other.

LOUISVILLE, KY—It took Anders Larsen nearly 20 minutes to justify his purchase of a pocket watch to his fellow hipsters.

CLEARWATER, FL–J.P. McQuade's, a popular Clearwater-area singles bar, contained a single woman Saturday night. "Talk about a sausage-fest," said Dave Hereford, one ...

PIKESVILLE, MD–The aftertaste of a sugar-free, strawberry-flavored hard candy eaten by Stephanie Wickes in 1988 was detected Monday by the 38-year-old Pikesville resident. "I ...

HANOVER, NH–A National Public Radio report on a rebel insurrection in the West African nation of Sierra Leone deeply concerned Hanover-area listener Jim Ellenson ...

NEW YORK–Porter Novelli public-relations executive Randy Schad, who works directly under megalomaniacal bastard Rich Frankel, is earning more than enough to put up with ...

WASHINGTON, DC–The U.S. Senate voted 64-30 Monday to obstruct next Sunday's marriage of Phoenix's Todd Wexler and Marisa Park. "It is ...

CHANDLER, AZ–Cashier Wendy Kile, 20, allowed a blatant case of line-cutting to go unpunished Monday at the Billings Road Safeway. "I was waiting in ...

The six Friends starts are threatening to quit he show if each does not receive $1 million per episode. What else are they demanding?

The opening of your soul's mystic Third Eye will be accompanied by the sprouting of your head's fourth through eleventh eyes.

On May 5, federal agents removed 216 protesters who had been occupying a Vieques Island bombing range used for target practice by the U.S ...