HOUSTON–A mandatory 8 a.m. meeting at appliance distributor Parnell International appears to have refocused and re-energized the company's sales team, upper-management sources ...

WASHINGTON, DC–At a press conference Monday, members of Congress lambasted the British House Of Commons for "blatantly ripping off" Senate bill S.576.

IOWA CITY, IA–Despite the fact that it cost $350 when purchased two years ago and was still in excellent condition, no one seems to ...

SOUTH CHINA SEA–In a development with dire implications for shipwreck survivor Warren Munsey, fellow life-raft passenger Cliff Tettleton hallucinated Monday that Munsey was a ...

WASHINGTON, DC–At a press conference Monday, President Clinton confirmed that the U.S. is clearing out a portion of Montana to make room for ...

DALLAS–The résumé of aspiring telejournalist Jonathan Krieger, liberally padded with exaggerations and flat-out lies, was deemed "unimpressive" Monday by Sandi Robertson, human-resources director of ...

NUTLEY, NJ–Area resident Megan McNally unequivocally stated Monday that she "never, ever, not even once" said that she hates your old college friend Jason ...

LAKE OF FIRE, HELL–Eternally tormented soul Brent Woodson, who is currently being pressed between white-hot slabs of iron, expressed "profound regret" Monday that he ...

Led by such standard-bearers as Eminem, Tom Green and Howard Stern, American pop culture is ruled by sex, violence, and bodily fluids. What are some ...

the heavenly spheres
influence your pale wan soul
to eat fatty snacks

Ethan Pillers is a syndicated columnist whose weekly advice column, Ask A Restaurant Critic, appears in more than 250 newspapers nationwide.

The Democratic National Convention is underway, and much of the focus is on Al Gore's running mate, Joseph Lieberman, an Orthodox Jew. What do ...