KNOXVILLE, TN—Amanda Gentry, whose boyfriend has been acting odd and quiet as of late, hears wedding bells.

VANDALIA, IL—Local resident Paul Sadecki, master of the geographic putdown, spares no nearby town from his clever name twists.

WASHINGTON, DC—Citing the noise, constant distractions, and lack of privacy, sophomore Sen. Wayne Allard (R-CO) told reporters Monday that he is eager to move ...

HEAVEN—Calling the Holy Trinity "overstaffed and over budget," God announced plans Monday to downsize the group by slowly phasing out the Holy Ghost. "Given ...

WASHINGTON, DC—Upon injuring a toe Sunday, Corey Flintoff, newscaster for NPR's All Things Considered, unleashed a string of rich, pleasantly modulated obscenities. "God ...

BAGHDAD—Homeowner Aftab Shamoun, 34, announced Monday that he will likely wait "just a little while" before moving ahead with plans to re-shingle the roof ...

BURBANK, CA—Seeking to bolster its Thursday-night Nielsen numbers, NBC announced Monday that it is cancelling the highly rated CBS drama CSI: Crime Scene Investigation ...

FLAGSTAFF, AZ—Deputy Benjamin H. Weaver, court bailiff of the Flagstaff Municipal Courthouse, has grown weary of the constant comparisons to recently retired bailiff Leo ...

Nervous about the prospect of terrorist attacks, Americans are taking steps to ready themselves.

You have thoroughly wasted your potential over the past five years--years you could have spent deep-frying professionally.

Decried as gas-guzzling road hazards, SUVs are also under fire for supporting terrorism by increasing U.S. dependence on Mideast oil. What do you think?