SCHAUMBURG, IL—Foster parent Laurene Talley is a total cunt who always has to get into everyone else's business, 14-year-old Kristen Wenc reported Monday.

HOLLYWOOD, CA—Christ said he never should have given Mel Gibson so much creative license over The Passion Of The Christ.

NEW YORK—By conquering your Fear and eating it in Heroic Portions, one can avoid the Eternal Occurrence of weight gain.

SAN FRANCISCO—A virulent strain of soy flu has been traced to a single tofurkey at a Bay Area food-processing factory. "An investigation of Green ...

PLATTSBURGH, NY—The Channel 5 Action News Team was duped once again by a crank call to the WPTZ breaking-news hotline Monday. "I should have ...

PALO ALTO, CA—Despite completing all the requirements for a Masters of Fine Arts in creative writing from Stanford University in January, Jeremy Craig Kessler ...

EL PASO, TX—Native Texan and chili chef Jerry Gerber, 41, said he has been suffering a palpable sense of melancholy ever since the 17th ...

ST. PAUL, MN—Following U.S. Sen. John Kerry's win in the Minnesota Democratic primary, campaign volunteer Ron Pelles, 24, got a little Kerry-primary ...

In a major shift in the emergency care of cardiac arrest, doctors are recommending a simpler form of CPR that eliminates mouth-to-mouth breathing. What are ...

You have greatly angered the God Of Floral Wallcoverings, but it's unclear whether this will affect you in any way.

President Bush has ordered the deployment of 200 marines to Port-au-Prince, Haiti as part of an "interim international force" to restore stability in the region ...